


A Court of Darkness and Duty

by orphan_account



Series: A Court of Fics and Ships [2]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Aedon is gay as fuck, And also a drama queen, Darkness, Duty, F/M, I lied there's definitely going to be smut, I made these characters and I can't stand at least two of them, Slow Burn, Stella doesn't realize when she's making goo goo eyes over someone, Why do I do this to myself, also a total shipper, am I a bad person for writing this, and an angsty as fuck one at that, can I just say that Revan is a creep and I really want to punch him in the face, gonna put a warning for sexual assault in dreams, is this a slow burn, it's not full on sex, maybe a little love triange, my badass little bat baby Stella, nightmares glorious nightmares, only kissing and getting a little grabby, sequel to ACOSAS, the pain train is on, there might be smut, there might not be smut, yes I am, yes it fucking is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 09:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 43,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12838032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Estelle, the only daughter of Rhysand and Feyre, is training to be the High Lady of the Night Court, but not everyone is on board with this plan. With the Illyrians silently fuming about the idea of being lead by a female and the Court of Nightmares being just a touch too rebellious, the Inner Circle is in over their heads when a new enemy rises, proposing an alliance with an unsavory deal. Stella must navigate the difficult waters of power, control, darkness, and duty while trying to listen to her heart.





	1. Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics from this chapter are from Sum 41's With Me

_This is the right thing to do._

_They're all wrong._

_This is the right thing to do._

_They're all wrong._

_That's the mantra I tell myself as I walk through the parted crowd in my flowing white gown, striding down the aisle in a quick but steady pace; the aisle is lined with fae, including the High Lords and Ladies, gathered to celebrate my marriage. The crowd whispers gossip about me behind their hands as I stroll through them and I hear everything they're saying; each word cuts like a knife._

_Marriage. Is that really what this is? Can this be described as marriage? The union of a male and female, most of the time out of love._

_Most of the time._

_I look up the aisle towards my groom, studying his profile and the look on his face. My hands smooth across the bodice of my gown, straightening out the wrinkles and fingering the satin. I don't like this dress; the skirt is bigger than a pond, trailing at least five feet behind me. It's embellished with embroidery of white roses and hearts. I hate it._

_This isn't the dress I imagined. This isn't the wedding I imagined._

_I cast a quick glance over to my twin brother, Aedon, and he stares at me with steady but devastated violet eyes. I squeeze my eyes closed, hoping that this is just another dream - another nightmare - that I can wake up from, but when I open my eyes I'm still walking down the aisle. I'm still heading towards something that I'm not sure I want._

_Then I'm there. I'm standing in front of the groom and my father is reluctantly unlinking his arm from mine. And my hand is slipping into my groom's hand._

_I look into his eyes and I don't know what to do. Could I possibly call this off? Now? Now that everybody is here? What would happen if I did?_

_He searches my eyes with curiosity, not concern. Why am I marrying someone who shows no concern for me when I'm obviously in turmoil?_

_Then the priestess is talking, speaking about love and duty and how the two can come hand-in-hand. But can they? This is my duty, not my love._

_I glance over to my parents and see that neither of them are smiling; they know what I'm giving up, what I'm sacrificing. Aedon keeps his mouth closed though I can see that he's bursting to object, to deny that this wedding should ever be able to take place. And Keiran, my big brother, my protector, his eyes are lined with a silvery wetness. I don't want that. I don't want to see Kieran cry._

_It's our turn to recite the vows._

_He goes first, spouting vows about equality between partners and honor and - I feel like I can't breathe._

_It's my turn now and I don't even know if I remember the vows. I wish I had written them down. Why didn't I write them down?_

_I bite my lip as I look at my groom again, seeing his yearning for my answering vows, but is it yearning for me or for my power? I look at my parents, my family, if I do this I can help them. I can save the lives of countless innocents. My people deserve their lives and I can't - My eyes catch the gaze of the one person I didn't think I'd see here and I know my answer -_

_\-----_

My eyes fly open as I sit up straight in my canopy bed, gasping for breath as I leave the dream world behind. "What the hell?" I yell as I look around, trying to shake myself awake and away from my reoccuring nightmare.

Noctis, my pet wolf, sits up, cocking her head and whining at my abrupt behavior. I reach forward and pet her silky, black head. 

"Don't worry, girl." I continue to stroke her fur as I whisper, "I'm fine," though I'm not sure I am.

Aedon's head pops into my room, his golden brown hair shines as the sun from my windows hits it. "You okay in here?"

I sigh and reach up to run my hands through my dark hair. "Yes." I answer immediately before sighing and admitting, "No, not really."

Aedon's violet eyes narrow. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shrug and let my hands drop to my lap. "I've been having this same dream for a while. But it doesn't feel like a dream. It feels so real, like a vision, except I can never remember the faces." I say as I look down at my lap. If only I could remember the faces of the groom and the other . . . person, the person that either made me start my vows or quit them altogether.

Aedon walks in, gently closing the door behind him, and sits down next to me, placing a large hand on my shoulder and squeezing it. "Aunt Elain is the only Seer in the family. You're probably just having a weird dream because you're obsessing over something."

I start to shake my head but I decide to let it rest, arguing with my brother isn't going to change the dreams. "You're probably right." I mutter and he nods, squeezes my shoulder once more, and walks out, leaving me to wonder if maybe I'm going crazy.

But no. I know that these dreams mean something, I just don't know what.

\-----

After brushing all the knots out of my wavy hair, I pull it back into a tight fishtail braid, happy to get the unruly tendrils out of my face. I pull on comfy pants and traditional Night Court top that shows the barest minimum of my stomach.

I glance out my window, remembering that it  _is_  winter and wearing a top like this is bound to give a normal person a bit of a chill, but I'm not normal; my fire will keep me warm. Besides, I like to wear shirts like these to show off the Illyrian tattoos that trail from my right shoulder down my arm like the sleeve of a shirt, ending right below my wrist.

I received the tattoos after completing the Blood Rite last year. I was one of the youngest ever to complete it. It seemed relatively easy to me, but I also didn't have to worry about anyone. I hadn't made many friends during my few years with the Illyrians, even though I rose in the ranks too quickly to not be well-respected, and Aedon hadn't wanted to be trained in the Illyrian's ways. He claims that fighting isn't his strong suit and he's better suited to books. I believe him.

My father bursts into my room, knocking me out of my thoughts, and says, "Good morning, Stell, how are you today?" I start to answer when he blurts, "Good, now let's get busy."

"Dad." He starts talking about a few problems around the Court that I should be really concerned about - and on any other day I would be, but not today - and I decide to try again, "Dad!"

His head swivels up startled, "What?"

"Today's my day off, remember?" I ask hopefully, not willing to give up a day in the sun for a day of reading accounts and writing records.

His brow furrows before he nods. "Right. Sorry, I forgot. I've been so busy lately." He shakes his head before smiling at me. "Go have fun, little star."

I nod, "Thanks, Papa. If you need any help, please don't hesitate to call me back here." I say as I look him over and see that his usually groomed hair is in a disarray on top of his head and his clothes are wrinkled and unbuttoned in weird places.

"Don't you worry about it, I'll ask your mother for help. Or your brother; Aedon and I haven't spent enough time together in the past few weeks." He says before winnowing out in a cloud of darkness.

I shake my head at how stressed he is. The Illyrians have been causing a little trouble due to me being named Heir to the Night Court, but I know that it's the Court of Nightmares that has him worried; we tried to let them rule themselves completely after the war with Hybern, but they proved themselves incapable, wreaking havoc on towns and villages surrounding them. We're trying to get them back under our control, but they don't seem to be as terrified of my father as they used to be.

I start to winnow to my father's study to help him but I only get one day off a week and I intend to use it so I winnow to the Rainbow instead. The darkness gathers around me and then suddenly disappears as I appear on the colored stones of the Rainbow, breathing in the salty sea air that blows through the city from the sea.

My eyes immediately find a set of musicians starting to set up for a performance. I back up a few steps until my back hits a wall behind me and I wrap my arms across my abdomen, making myself comfortable as I prepare to watch the performance.

Their songs are fun and cute with upbeat percussion and string solos until they switch to a different type of song. A sad song. The strings become softer and slower and the percussion dies to almost nothing. The words are different too, not so fun, more serious. More lovesick.

 _I don't want this moment to ever end_  
_Where everything's nothing without you_  
_I'd wait here forever just to, to see you smile_  
_'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you_

The singer has a lovely rasp in her voice that seems to make her voice sound even more heartbroken, even more destroyed, and it seems to bind me into a spell as the percussion picks up again.

 _I want you to know_  
_With everything, I won't let this go_  
_These words are my heart and soul_  
_I'll hold on to this moment, you know_  
_As I bleed my heart out to show_  
_And I won't let go_  
  
I'm stuck in a daze as this song plays on, something about it has me enraptured, until a deep voice from my side says, "Hey, honey, aren't you a pretty little thing?"

Someone whistles, snapping me out of my daze to find two guys on either side of me, sizing me up with a glint in their eyes that instantly makes me bristle with anger.

"Why don't you go find a dog to whistle at?" I ask in a less-than-nice tone and turn back to the music, pretending not to notice when they step closer.

One steps so close that when he leans down his breath hits my ear as he whispers, "Now why would we want to do that when you're so much prettier than any dog?"

Rage burns in me and I think about setting him on fire and watching his skin melt off his face until there's nothing but bones and ash left, but then I start to smell smoke and see the darkness swirling around my feet. I quickly force myself to recover from the spell my powers were about to put me under.

I look at him, carefully assessing everything about this guy who clearly wants his ass kicked. "You want to leave. Right now." I command him with all the authority I've learned as the heir to the Night Court. I would use my daemati abilities on him but I promised myself I would never do that unless it was life or death, and this is not.

It's just some dirt-bag trying to pick on someone he sees as an easy target.

His rough, calloused hand closes around my slim wrist. "Or what?"

His friend starts chuckling.

I set their clothes on fire.

Neither are laughing anymore.

"Or else I'll set the rest of you on fire." Their clothes aren't actually burning. Well, they are, but they aren't burning with heat that could kill a person.

Both guys throw off their clothes and look at me with wide eyes full of fear. "Devil-girl." They whisper before running off.

They must not have been from around here, otherwise they would know better than to try and hit on the High Lord's daughter. Maybe they were Autumn Court, most Autumn Court citizens are lacking in manners.

I hear someone speaking next to me but I don't start paying attention until I hear my name. I look to my side to see my oldest friend, Felix, staring at me with a furrowed brow. "I'm sorry what did you say?" I ask, not entirely sure I heard him right.

"I asked what was going on." His midnight blue eyes sparkle with concern.

I exhale a breath of relief. "Just listening to these guys, they're pretty good."

Felix's face shifts from concern to a slight smile. "Well, I guess you are okay if you're judging musicians, though I'm not entirely sure setting people's clothes on fire is something completely stable people do."

I let out a little giggle and roll my eyes at him. "You saw that, huh?" I ask with a proud little smirk.

He chuckles, smiling widely. "That was the best. I was about to intervene and then you set them on fire." He shakes his head in amusement. "It was perfect."

 "You were going to intervene?" I ask with a sly smile.

He shrugs. "Of course, you're my best friend. And those guys were pushing their limits." He says it casually though his husky voice comes out a little strained making me wonder if that's all; sometimes I really wish I wasn't so moral otherwise I would definitely use my daemati abilities to get inside his head.

"Were they?" I ask with a hint of mischief in my tone. "What if I wanted them to push their limits?"

He barely glances at me before saying, "But you didn't, I could tell."

"How?" I ask with a raised brow.

His hand raises and his pointer finger lightly strokes down the space between my brows. "Because you get little crinkles here whenever you're angry or annoyed."

I snatch his finger, hoping to bite it teasingly, but he steals it back and shakes his head at me and my nonsense.

We both turn back to the musicians as they start to play a more upbeat tune that I recognize as an old Spring Court ditty; Lena, Kieran's mate, sometimes sings it whenever she visits. Felix's eyes are completely on the musicians, though I stealthily study him out of the corner of my eye; no matter how many times I see him, I can never stop from feeling in awe.

A lesser fae, Felix has silver skin instead of a normal skin tone, from far back it even looks like he has scales due to a few places where the silver runs in darker streaks. His hair is a shock of unruly black curls, he tries to keep it short to keep the curls contained but it doesn't help much. His father was an Illyrian, gifting him Illyrian wings; he typically keeps those tucked away, not wanting anyone to see them. His father also gave him his physique which allows him to tower over me; the top of my head barely hits the bottom of his chin, even though I'm considered tall for the average female.

His lips curve into a slight smirk, allowing me to see his glistening teeth, as he whispers, "You're staring again. Didn't your parents ever tell you that staring is rude?"

I bite my lip before turning my eyes fully on the musicians and shrugging. "I don't think I am."

I can practically feel his eyes rolling as he says, "Sure, whatever," in a voice that oozes sarcasm.

I elbow him in the side and say, "I wasn't staring, I was admiring."

He huffs. "Admiring."

My eyes immediately roll. "Yes, admiring. You are very awe-inspiring."

He doesn't say anything, but I know he doubts that; it's something I've learned about him after over ten years of friendship. He'll doubt anything positive that someone says about him, even if that someone is his best friend.

I open my mouth to say something when he beats me to it, "Isn't your birthday in a few days? Why aren't your mom and the Morrigan sending out invitations?"

I shrug, submitting to the change of conversation, "I have no idea. They haven't even talked to me or Aedon about the party yet." Which is completely unusual. Last year they invited everyone in Prythian, now they aren't even acknowledging it.

He shrugs casually. "Maybe they're planning a surprise party. Either way, I better get an invitation. I got you the perfect gift."

My lips twist into a small smile. "You know you will always be on my invite list," I say and add, "and that you don't have to get me a gift."

"I like to though." He shrugs. "You're my friend, I have to repay you for that somehow."

I shake my head and wrap my arms around his waist. "You repay that by being my friend in return."

He starts to hug me back before releasing me and nodding towards a few people whose fingers are pointed towards us and whose hushed whispers convey that they are practicing the archaic art of gossip.

I roll my eyes. "So what? Everybody in Velaris knows we're friends and that we've been friends for years. I mean, we used to have sleepovers and now we can't even hug."

He looks down at me with narrowed eyes and tight lips. "It's different now though, we're not little kids. You don't hear what they say."

"I don't care what they say." I mutter. "I'll hug my best friend if I want to."

Felix shakes his head. "One of these days, you're going to realize - " He cuts himself off, but I understand what he was going to say. One of these days, you're going to realize that things are different.

 _Not likely, Felix._  I don't say it, I don't say anything at all. Instead I stand and watch the band finish their song. Felix stands with me though I can feel his eyes on me instead of the band.

I turn to him to find him already staring at me. I almost don't say anything. I almost just stare. But I realize that that would make me look like a total weirdo so I inquire, "What did you get me? For my birthday, I mean."

Felix glances at me with raised eyebrows. "Ever heard of a surprise?"

"What if I don't like surprises?" I ask and take a step closer.

He leans down a bit and says, "You love surprises."

That's when Aedon walks up to us and says, "Hey, guys. What's up? Nothing? Great. By the way, Stella, Dad wants to speak to you. Immediately."

I sigh and turn back to Felix to apologize only to find him gone. "Great." I mutter before shrouding myself in darkness and winnowing to my dad's study.

The darkness clears away and I look around my father's study, noticing some of the books barely hanging on the shelves and a few cobwebs that he would normally take care of. My father sits at his desk, pouring over some wrinkled papers, but he looks up as I approach him.

"What's going on, Dad?" I ask as I walk around his desk to stand behind him and glance down at the papers.

He looks up at me with a sly smile though it's a bit lopsided. "What do you say to a little trip to the Court of Nightmares?"

Considering the nightmares I've been having, a trip to the Hewn City doesn't sound half as bad as usual. "If that's what needs to be done. When and why?"

My father sighs and slouches in his chair. "It's been a mess. The Illyrians are being a little rebellious but I can handle them. The Court of Nightmares though," He shakes his head, "they aren't afraid of me anymore. I need to go down there with a show of force and you need to go with me, show them you're not going to put up with their shit either."

I nod. "All right."

"We'll go tomorrow, spend the rest of your day doing what you want. Get some rest tonight though, you're going to need it."

"Of course, Dad." I lean down and kiss his forehead and he smiles.

"Thanks, little star."

I walk out of the room backwards. "How come you don't call Aedon 'little star'? We all know he would love to bask in the glory." I ask, trying to lift his mood.

My father smirks. "Ah, but Aedon doesn't twinkle as much as you do, little star." He winks as he continues, "Besides, I think the nickname 'little shit' suits him better."

\-----

The cool night air hits my wings and sends an exhilarating rush up my spine as I sit on the roof of the House of Wind, watching the people in the streets as they go about their night. I hear soft footsteps behind me but I don't turn around. I just wait.

"You know, they say that Velaris is the most beautiful city in all of Prythian. I think maybe they should ask you just to be sure. You stare at it every night." Aedon says as he crouches down to take a seat next to me.

"Who's they?" I ask with a sly smirk of my own.

Aedon raises a brow before saying, "The ominous  _they_  that everyone talks about, of course."

"Of course." I mumble.

"Seriously though, why do you do it?" He asks with a furrowed brow as he stares down at the same thing I look at every night. "It's not like it ever looks any different."

"I don't know. Something about it soothes me." I shrug before lowering my eyes and adding, "It also terrifies me."

This has Aedon leaning forward. "It terrifies you?"

I look him in the eye, noticing all the little specks of blue in his violet eyes. "If everybody is right, and I am the heir, will the city still be so peaceful? Will I be able to keep our people unified?" I turn my gaze towards the city once again. "Or will I just ruin it like I do everything else?"

Aedon clasps his hand around mine. "You don't ruin everything. You'll be an amazing leader."

"I can't even keep my powers in control." I whisper, sending a searing glance towards my free hand. My magic is stronger than I can contain, especially the fire and the darkness. "I can't control it, how can I be expected to control a Court when I can't control myself." It's not a question, it's a self-deprecating statement. I've never been able to control my powers as well as my father or my mother or anyone else in my family.

Suddenly, a vision of my first training session with my father plays  out in my mind.

_"So, little star, which power comes easiest to you?" My father asks, staring down at me with those patient eyes that I've always adored._

_I shrug with a pout as I look out the window, wishing to be outside as the sun bares down on my skin. I want to be fighting the other kids in the sparring circles at the Illyrian camp. I started training here a few days ago when I told my parents I wanted to be a warrior._

_My father's kind eyes narrow and he suddenly becomes a stern teacher rather than an adoring father. "I'm trying to help you, Estelle. You need to let me teach you." He gazes down at me, pleading with me to work with him. "Now, which power comes easiest to you? Aside from any Night Court powers of course." Of course. Those always came easily to me. Too easily._

_I hold out my hand and fire bursts from my palm._

_My father nods as if he expected that._

_"What does it feel like, little star?"_

_This time I actually don't have an answer. It feels like fire. Burning and searing, but there's no pain to it. It's not here to hurt me. It's here to protect me, to warm me. It's living and breathing. Growing. It's wild and untamed. Purely there by the strength of my will and my magic and -_

_I squeal and jump into my father's arms as I realize that I've set the rocking chair in the corner of my room on fire. My father holds me, gently, whispering against my ear that everything's going to be okay and that it's nothing to worry about._

_We can always get a new chair._

_When I calm down, I look over to find that the fire hasn't spread. It's just burnt the chair to ashes._

_My father's gaze lingers on the ashes before saying, "You did well, little star. It will take some time before you can control it completely."_

_I nod, though I heard the strained tone in his voice._

Aedon breaks me out of my trance by pulling me towards him and into a hug. "Don't worry, I'll always be here to help you."

I sniffle a bit before saying, "Thanks, little brother."

He huffs. "You're only six minutes older than me."

I poke him in the side, feeling a great amount of joy when he jolts from it. "Yes, and that makes you my little brother."

"By six minutes!" He yells.

My laughter rings into the night, cutting through the sounds of music and happiness from the city below.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like it!


	2. Part 2

Nuala and Cerridwen prepare me for my trip to the Hewn City. They try to craft my messy hair into beautiful waves, stringing minuscule diamonds throughout it so the bright crystals stand out against my blue-black hair. A silver tiara with spires of crescent moons and stars is placed on top of my dark curtain of hair. My father had that tiara specially handcrafted for me years ago and it's my favorite accessory when I have a reason to wear it.

Father sometimes talks about how looks can intimidate people more than words can. That's why Nuala and Cerridwen deck me out in dark, intimidating make up and help me into a skimpy little black dress with stringy straps holding it up and a neck that cuts like a V down my abdomen, reaching my navel with only two skimpy strips of fabric covering my breasts; thank the Cauldron they had the foresight to put in padding otherwise my nipples would be showing through the light material of this dress. The only thing remotely modest about the dress is that it's floor-length, except one side of the skirt has a slit reaching all the way up to my hip.

My whole back is on display, showing the tattoo between my shoulder blades; it's a circle with mountains in it and three stars above the highest point of the mountains, the crest of the Night Court.

Nuala and Cerridwen help me put on silver strappy, knee-length sandals and smother sparkles all across my body and through my hair.

I look in the mirror and gasp. I turn to Nuala and Cerridwen and say, "Dad's not gonna like this."

Nuala blushes while Cerridwen says, "Well, he'll have to get over. We've put Feyre in a lot less."

"So I've heard." I mutter, trying not to think about my parents' rendezvous in the Hewn City and what's all involved in those visits.

There's a rapping on my door and Nuala and Cerridwen disappear into the shadows as my dad walks in. His face goes from a smile to a frown as a murderous glint enters his narrowed eyes.

"No." He simply says.

I cross my arms over my chest and raise a brow. "I think I look nice."

My dad shakes his head. "I don't like it."

"Mom's worn worse."

He nods sarcastically. "Yeah, I know that and I like those dresses. On her." He points to me and adds, "On you, they make me want to lock you in a tower or something to keep prying eyes away." Protective as always.

"You're overly dramatic." I say as I fix a stray curl.

My mom winnows in and lays across the midnight blue comforter on my bed. "You look absolutely stunning, darling."

"Thank you." Both Dad and I say at the same time.

"I meant our daughter."

I hear my father's voice in my head saying,  _That's a lie._

"Shut up, Dad!" I yell, my mom's giggles echo through the room.

She sits up and walks over to us and kisses my cheek before kissing my dad. "We should go, we don't want to be late. The others are already there." The others meaning Uncle Cass, Aunt Mor, Aunt Nesta, and Uncle Az. Aedon opted for staying home; he hates being in any type of social setting unless it involves attractive men that he can ogle.

"Better late than never." We both mutter and give each other glares for copying the other.

Mom shoots us both a no nonsense look and mutters, "You two are too much alike," before ushering us out of my bedroom door and into the hall.

We make our way up to the roof. The sun hits us as we walk onto the roof, warming my cold bones; my wings immediately spread out, basking in the warmth. My father glances at me and winks before leaping off the roof and into flight.

_The race is on._ My father says in his cocky voice.

My mother doesn't say anything as she races off the roof behind him. 

But me . . . well. I yell, "Oh hell no!"as I race off the edge and leap into flight behind him, pushing myself to catch up with him. "Cheater!"

He doesn't say anything, just races ahead of me.

I huff as I push myself harder, faster, willing myself to beat him.

This is going to be fun.

\-----

"No, I won." I say for the fifth time as we walk towards the main hall where the throne room is located.

My father shakes his head. "Whatever you say, little star."

By now I can see that he's nervous; his back is rigidly straight and he keeps cracking his knuckles. The darkness that he usually keeps contained is rippling off him in waves.

_What's wrong?_  I send the question into his mind.

He glances at me out of the corner of his eye as he sends back, _I don't like when you have to see this side of me._

My mother shoots him a worried glance before joining in on our conversation,  _It's nothing she can't handle, Rhys. Stop being such a worry-wart._

_I can handle it, Papa._ I assure him, knowing that even if I'd never seen my father put on his wicked persona before that I could top his act without a sprinkle of guilt about it. The last two trips I've taken here weren't nearly as terrible as he tries to make them out to be. The first time shocked me a little, but I was quick to remember that the Court of Nightmares would one day be my responsibility and that I would need to know how to navigate it and being wicked came with the territory. 

I remember it like it was yesterday.

_"Are you ready, little star?" My father asks as we stand outside gigantic doors. Lurking behind those doors is the congregation of the citizens of the Court of Nightmares. They're wicked. They're everything the Court of Dreams isn't. Cruel. Heartless. Dark._

_Am I ready? No. Do I need to be ready? Yes._

_I swallow down the lump in my throat and say, "Of course, Papa."_

_The door swings open and we stride into a grand hall that holds hundreds of people. My father said to keep my eyes on him and my mom, but my eyes wander around the people. They're all so pale. They should have treated Velaris better, maybe then we wouldn't have had to lock them back in their gloomy mountain._

_Some of the male's eyes wander away from the ground and they stare lustfully at my mother. She's wearing a floor-length black dress that sparkles like the stars in the sky and she looks gorgeous, but nobody should stare at my mother like that but my father._

_Then their eyes find me._

_One of them puckers his lips in an air kiss and winks suggestively while glancing up and down my body that's just coming into shape._

_What should I do? What do I do? Nobody - absolutely nobody - would have dared do that in Velaris. I have no practice in dealing with males like that._

_I'm only fifteen._

_We make it to our thrones and my father orders for everybody to stand, but I'm still internally freaking out about what happened on our way up. My powers start to pick up on my unease and darkness crawls around the hem of my skirt while the flames of the candles around the room flare a little bit._

_The music is a little to loud, a little to wicked and wild. Why is my heart pounding so loudly? Or is that the beating of the drums? I feel the room start to collapse in on me._

_Until my mother reaches over and pats my hand, whispering into my mind,_ Don't worry, darling. Your father and I know all about that ruffian back there. We'll take care of it.

_The man is called up and he's about to be punished when I stop my father. This isn't his punishment to dole out. This is mine. Mine and my mother's._

_I glance at my mother to see her already looking at me. I grab her hand, needing to clasp something to steady myself, then we start what my father was about to do. I learn how to deal with unwanted attention from any male._

In the end, the male left with only a broken arm. After all, blowing a kiss and winking wasn't that big of deal, but that day taught me that I shouldn't let males run all over me like some like to do. It also taught me that to deal with the Court of Nightmares I have to be a nightmare.

My father tries for a smile as we stop in front of the big doors leading to the throne room. My parents walk in together, throwing open the doors with a loud bang that sends the citizens of the hall into silence and bows. I walk in behind them, surveying the people with harsh eyes as I keep my head up and my shoulders straight. My family that's already arrived nods encouragingly as my eyes meet theirs.

I spot one of the males snickering and pointing at my mother and I with his friend. I immediately freeze both their tongues. Their eyes meet mine and I lift my hand, letting frost come off of it, as I send them a smirk.

We reach the steps to the dais that the thrones sit on and walk up to them. My mother sits in the middle with my father on her right and me on her left. The throne isn't as comfortable as I remember; with no cloth to protect the soft skin of my back the metal digs in harshly, sure to leave a few bruises.

"Keir, come forward." My mother beckons with a sly smile, her favorite thing to do is to tease or torture Keir.

He walks forward and stands in front of us. He doesn't bow.

"Yes?" No 'High Lady'? I send a little wave of cold up his spine, making him shiver; he looks around as a few snickers are made audible, they probably think he shivered out of fear.

"Yes, what, Keir?" My father prompts.

Keir rolls his eyes, "Yes, High Lady."

My mother smirks, "Now there's a good boy." before shaking her head, "That eye roll though . . ." She lets that sentence drift as she makes a tsking noise. "Should I take out your eyes?" I see claws emerge from her fingertips. If she said this to anyone else I would say that she's bluffing, but to Keir . . . well, there isn't anything anyone in my family wouldn't do to him after what he did to my aunt Mor.

Keir's eyes widen and he scoffs, "No."

My mother glares and her claws retract. "Then don't let me see you rolling your eyes, or I'm going to snatch them out of your head." She says with menace before sitting back and picking at her nails with a look that screams indifference.

I can tell that my father is wanting to smile at her and praise her for a job well done, but he can't without risking looking too soft in the eyes of this monstrous Court, instead he smirks and winks at her before announcing to the room, "You all may stand," and turning back to Keir, "Fill me in on the recent activities. Anybody I should punish?" He asks with a simple voice that tells the whole Court that this is a boring activity to him, that he does it all the time. "Or maybe Estelle could punish them?" My father asks and turns a keen eye on me, as does everybody in the room.

_You always said you were a good actress_ , my father sends into my mind.

I put on my best sneer and rest my chin on my fist, tilting my head to the side as if in consideration as I say, "You know how much I enjoy punishing people, Father." A simple twirl of my fingers makes the flames from every candle in every chandelier flare, adding a dramatic punch to what I said. I hear a few people gasp and it's music to my ears.

_Good job._ My mom sends.

Keir talks for a while and I tune him out, not really caring for his list of minor crimes. I care more for eyeing the crowd, sending glares or chills if I find anyone I think is being disrespectful to my family.

Most of the people avert their eyes, knowing who I am and how powerful I am, but one male looks right at me. Our eyes stay connected because I'm not one to look away first. I guess he isn't either. He looks familiar, really familiar. He has white-blonde hair and black eyes. I swear I've never seen him before, but for some reason I know him.

_Mom, who is that?_

My mom follows my gaze before sending back, _I'm not sure, why?_

_He won't look away. I've basically been having a staring contest with him for the past five minutes. I'm not turning away until I win._

_Well when you can't win, cheat._

_Wise words._ I send back as I send a line of cold trailing up his spine; he looks away as he spasms and I finally move on to another person.

My father starts speaking now, telling the Court about me being named heir to the Night Court. I don't pay as much attention as I should until I hear, "She's just a girl."

My father freezes. My mother freezes. Everybody freezes. But me.

"Excuse me?" I demand as frost curls down the arm of my throne, white against the black metal, and my darkness flares out from all around me. The torches lining the walls and lighting the room flare as my anger overwhelms me.

"You're just a girl. How can you rule the most powerful Court in Prythian?" I've located the speaker and it's the guy who wouldn't turn his eyes away from me.

My father speaks into my mind,  _I trust you have this one._

_You fucking bet I do._ I send back.

My eyes meet this guy's. My darkness and my ice come out to play, bursting out of thin air. The darkness dot out the lights around the room, leaving only enough light for an ominous glow, while twisting around this guy's wrists and ankles as my ice crawls up him, slowly, oh so slowly.

I stand with my shoulders back and my chin up; I don't have to look in a mirror to know that my eyes have gone fully grey and my hair is curling with the darkness, "How can _I_ rule the most powerful Court in Prythian?" I ask in a silent, yet deadly tone. "How can I?"

I walk up to the male with slow and steady steps. When I reach him, I grab his chin in my hand, roughly pulling it so his eyes are on me and only me. "Oh honey, you don't even know what I can do."

I jerk my hand away from his chin and turn, walking back up the dais and stopping in front of my seat.  I'm looking at everyone in the room as I say, "I could burn this place to the ground and laugh as the skin melts off your bones. I could send a flood, gifting you all the pain of a slow death as you gasp for the air that your lungs burn for." I say it all indifferently as if I were talking about the news.

 "Or I could just smother you," I hold up my hand and tap my thumb and forefinger together; I don't really need to do that but it looks dramatic so I do it. Everybody watches as the man who spoke against me starts choking; I feel a thrill run up my spine as I realize I hold this man's life in my hands and - I snap myself out of the daze of dark lust that's settled into me, prompting me to remove my forefinger from my thumb and he immediately stops choking, I add in a whisper that carries across the room, "like that."

I feel like a goddess of darkness.  A bringer of death and carnage. I feel ice cold and shrouded in shadows. 

And I'm not sure I like this feeling.

"I can do anything you can imagine, I could break all your minds in an instant." I say and they all believe it. "Just remember that when you decide to ask how a  _girl_  can rule the most powerful Court in Prythian."

I feel my father's pride down our bond and I know I did well, so I sit and put on a smug smile as they all stand and stare at me in awe and the other emotion I was wanting. 

Fear.

I'm not so sure I want it now.

I open my link with Aedon and say,  _I think I scared the respect into the Court of Nightmares, mission accomplished._

He doesn't say anything. I want him to congratulate me. I want him to tell me that the Court deserved it, the male deserved it. I just don't want the silence. Silence could mean there's something he wants to say that he can't. Silence could mean that he doesn't approve. Silence could mean that I'm a monster.

Finally he says,  _Good job, sis._ And I breathe a sigh of relief, even though I'm filled with apprehension.

I glance up after that and see the man I had nearly choked the life out of earlier. I expect to anger in his eyes. I expect to see red creeping it's way up his neck and over his cheeks. I expect to his incredibly pale hands bunched up into fists. I expect rage.

What I don't expect to see is exactly what I see.

I didn't expect to see his lips stretched into a sly smile as his eyes gleam with something dark and dangerous.

\-----

I hear something scratching against the wall of the small cottage whose roof I happen to be sitting on. I look over the edge and see that my plan worked and Felix is climbing up the house, on his way to talk.

He makes it over the edge and sits next to me. "What are you doing on my roof, you heathen?"

I shrug lightly. "I wanted to talk."

He raises a brow as he finally gets a good look at me. "Since when do you wear sexy dresses?"

It's my turn to raise a brow. "Is it the dress that's sexy or me that makes the dress sexy?"

He furrows his brow and his mouth screws up to one side. "Is that a trick question?"

I roll my eyes and explain, "I wear sexy dresses when I have to visit the Hewn City."

"Ah." He nods before asking, "And how did that go?"

I shrug and look down at my hands, twiddling in my lap, before looking back up to the night sky as the stars twinkle and shine down on us. "It was great, I scared them." I say almost absentmindedly.

Felix leans closer. "And?"

I look back down at my hands that have gone still in my lap. "I scared myself." I whisper.

His midnight blue eyes narrow. "What do you mean?"

"Do you think I'm a monster?" I ask with my eyes squished closed, fearing his answer.  

He shakes his head and wraps an arm around my shoulder. "You're not a monster." He says.

"How do you know?" I ask in raspy voice.

His answer is barely a whisper, "Because monsters don't worry about whether they're monsters or not."

"But I liked it." I choke out. "I liked the power. I liked that I had a person's life in my hands. There was a thrill, a lust, for blood and I - I liked it." My hands start shaking, only slightly, like they're shivering and I feel my eyes fill with tears that I blink back, "No, I didn't _like_  it. I craved it."

I look over at Felix who's staring at me with some unrecognizable emotion in his eyes. "I was about to kill that guy. I was suffocating him with my magic. And I liked it, until I realized what I was doing and I stopped."

"Okay," is all he says.

But it's not okay.

"How can you think I'm not a monster after I confessed all of that? How can you just say okay?"

Felix shrugs. "You didn't kill him. The guy is still alive though his throat might be hurting a little. Besides you're my best friend. I know you better than anyone else, and you don't have the soul of a monster."

I want to say, "Don't I?", but his answer calms me down. He's right, he knows me better than anyone. He knows my fears. My wants. My dreams. He knows everything and he's still here. I know him as well as he knows me and if he thought I was a monster he would stop me. He would fix me.

My hands stop shaking and I feel the need to cry recede. I burrow further against his side and breathe in and out. I feel myself calming as I breathe in the soft, woody scent of sandalwood, it's always lingering on him though I don't know why; if I breathe deep enough I can even detect the faint scent of the spicy black pepper oil he mixes up for his mother's back pains.

"What did the guy do to you anyways?" He asks.

And I laugh.

"He said that I couldn't run the Night Court because I'm a girl."

He lets out a laugh that's so loud it startles me as it echoes off the building. His chest shakes and his blue eyes start to water as he laughs and laughs. He laughs harder than I've ever seen him laugh. I love his laugh. I love that as I lean against his side I feel it shaking against me and I hear it's deep rasp crystal clear.

He places a hand on his chest as he starts to calm down. "He told you that?"

My brows scrunch together. "Yeah, what's so funny?"

He looks me in the eyes and moves a stray curl away from my face. "Well, he should've known that you can do anything."

I bite my lip. "Well, he does now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do y'all think so far? Do you like it? What are your theories? I'd love to hear them all!


	3. Part 3

I gasp awake from another nightmare and clutch my blanket to my chest. One of my hands finds its way into my hair as I lean forward, breathing raggedly. "What's happening?"

Noctis crawls over to me and lays her head in my lap, her tongues slides out from her snout as she looks up at me with her huge brown eyes. I scrub a hand through the fur on her head and scratch behind her ears. "Hey, did I wake you? I'm sorry, girl."

She butts her head against my hand before sitting up and licking my cheek, leaving a slobbery trail from my chin to the corner of my eye, "Eww!" I squeal even as giggles burst out of my mouth

I hear Aedon's voice in my head, _Happy birthday, sis._

 _Happy birthday, shithead._ I say back as my fingers slide through Noctis' fur, separating any knots.

_Is that anyway to treat your brother on his birthday?_

_Of course it is, little brother._

_By six minutes!_

_Still little to me._

_You're insufferable._

_You're annoying._

_You're -_

My father bursts into my room, "Happy birthday, little star!" He walks over to my bed and peppers my forehead and cheeks with kisses. He makes a face when he kisses the cheek that Noctis' slobber still lingers on.

"Dad!" I yell as I try to duck away.

"You're twenty now." He smiles, but I can see the sadness in his eyes. "You're getting so old. I remember when you were just a tiny baby."

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a hug . . . until I hear Aedon yelling down the family bond,  _How come I never get the daddy wake up call first?_

My father sighs and rolls his eyes, _Because you call it the daddy wake up call!_

 _Wouldn't you like a mommy wake up call instead?_ My mother asks.

_Honestly, I feel really attacked by Father right now. Always going to Stella first. I'll only accept a wake up call from Dad._

_Dumbass._ I say.

 _Spoiled little princess._ Aedon yells back.

_Frilly fritter!_

_Oh, you better watch out or we're going to have a birthday war!_

I roll my eyes and ignore him as I turn back to Dad who has wide, bewildered eyes after hearing our conversation, "You should probably appease the beast."

"Good call." He says as he stands and walks out.

Five seconds later and I hear Aedon squealing.

"Well, isn't our family the epitome of normal?" I ask Noctis and she barks in turn.

"Wanna go for a walk around town?" I ask as I walk into my closet and start to pull on random clothes. 

"Let's go, Noctis." I say as I walk out of my room and down the stairs of the townhouse, "Mom, Dad, I'm going out!" I yell.

I hear Noctis' paws padding down the stairs as she tries to catch up to me. She reaches me as I take the first step outside.

I stroll down the street with Noctis walking along next to me, stopping to sniff every once in a while. We walk along the Sidra River, watching the people as they pass us by. A couple walks past us, whispering sweet nothings to each other, and I pause at the edge of a bridge and look out at the water below. Noctis stops along with me.

"What do you want to do today, girl?" I ask, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye, "Catch some fish? Make a new dress?" I look to my left at the colorful buildings of the Rainbow, "Go dancing?"

Noctis barks.

"Dancing it is." I sigh as I smooth a hand over Noctis' head and turn back to the street, strolling once again; I smile as I walk down the streets of the Rainbow . The tangy smell of paint wafts through the air as I breathe in deeply.

Noctis runs up next to me and nips at my leg.

I giggle, "Sorry, girl. I shouldn't have walked ahead. No need to bite."

She trots along beside me, perfectly content, even as the winter winds hit her, gliding along her fur. I feel the chill but I just summon a little warmth from my magic and let it wrap around me, keeping me warm in my thin dress.

A group of musicians start playing a song with an upbeat tune and funny words about a bird with coin that he kept in a sock. I laugh as the woman singing flaps her arms like imaginary wings and plays along to the song. It's obviously a children's song, maybe an Illyrian song, but I skip and hop around in the traditional folk dances that I know don't go along with song, seeing others doing the same thing. Clapping on time with the beat, I skip from one dancing partner to the next as Noctis watches me with an amused smile.

I've never heard this song as far as I know of, but somehow I find it familiar. Maybe I heard it when I was little in one of the Illyrian camps. I skip to my next partner, relishing in the feeling of moving my muscles and getting out all the aches from sleeping. I spot a flash of silver in the crowd and my smile grows wider, deepening my dimples, as the performer finishes the last of the song.

I drop a few coins in the musicians cup before turning back to the crowd with a huge smile on my face. The smile drops when I notice only Noctis sitting there watching me, no one else. I walk over to her and pat her head.

"That was fun, girl. Why don't we go find something else to do?"

I suddenly feel an itching at the back of my head. I turn around, my eyes search every area of the small street only to find nothing and no one.

But my feelings have never been wrong before and I know what I felt.

Someone was watching me.

But who?

And why do I feel a malicious intent?

\-----

"I wonder why we haven't seen any party decorations out." I say as Aedon finishes pulling my hair into a loose fishtail braid, letting a few curls fall out around my face.

I feel Aedon rolling his eyes. "It's going to be a surprise party, except we already know about it so it's not really a surprise to us."

"How do you know that we're actually having a party?" I ask, wondering if we actually are having a party. Aedon is so sure about it, but I would be fine with just sitting at home and trading stories with our family.

"Because Mom and Aunt Morrigan have been whispering a lot more than usual."

Walking into my closet, I say, "Makes sense." I grab the navy blue dress I'd been saving for tonight; it has a high-neck and is tight around my abdomen, but there's no fabric covering my back. The skirt of the dress is tight on my hips and thighs then it loosens and fans out a bit in a fanback fashion.

After pulling the dress on, I walk out of my closet and I turn my back to Aedon, "Button this, will you?" I ask as I hold my braid away from the button and try to keep my top covering my chest.

Aedon walks over and buttons the single pearl on the back of my neck before turning me around and looking me over. "Woo, girl. Who are you looking all gorgeous for?"

I shake my head as an agitated sigh escapes my lips. "Nobody. Can't I look nice for myself?" I ask as I pull on silver strappy sandals, not wanting to wear heels when dancing. I might be one of the most powerful Fae in the last thousand years, but even I can't erase the embarrassment of tripping over myself and falling into a punch bowl at my own birthday party.

Aedon nods, "You could, but you never look this nice for yourself so I'm lead to believe that you have another reason for looking absolutely stunning."

I start drawing my liner around my eyes, not going for anything elaborate to distract from the dress. "Maybe I'm hoping that this year I'll catch somebody's eye." My lips go next as I paint them a deep burgundy.

"Somebody like Felix?" Aedon prompts.

I huff and say, "Don't be stupid," as I pick up a bottle of perfume and start to smell it.

Aedon's rolls his eyes for like the thousandth time today. "You've had a crush on him since you met him."

I scoff and throw the bottle at him - he catches it easily - as I yell, "I have not!"

Aedon sniffs the perfume and wrinkles his nose, "Well, you're a liar. And don't ever use this perfume again. It smells like an old priestess," he winks at me, "besides the males are all about your natural scent, especially Felix." I raise a brow at him, wondering why he knows this. "I'm your wingman, sis." He explains. 

I almost let it go when he says, "You know, I think if you give me a few minutes to talk to Felix then I could set you up a date."

My hands clench into fists, my nails biting into my palms, as I say, "Even if I did like Felix, it's not like it would matter. He could never care for me like that." I smell smoke, probably from my searing curtains.

Aedon raises a brow and stares at my fists then my curtains, waiting for me to calm down. I take a deep breath and release the anger, unclenching my fists, and he asks, "Now, why could he never care for you like that?"

I shoot him a pointed stare. "It's Felix. Have you  _met_ him? He won't even hug me in public  _as a friend._ "

He shrugs. "Trust me, sis, there are  _other_  things he much rather be doing to you than hugging. Lucky duckling, I wish he played for the other team."

I roll my eyes. "Are you sure you're not the one who's had the crush on him since forever?"

Aedon chuckles softly. "I only think he's attractive. He's too serious for me; he never laughs at  _my_  jokes, he's always laughing at you though so I don't know."

"Maybe you're just not that funny."

Aedon scoffs and runs a hand through his golden brown hair as his violet eyes blaze. "Not that funny? Not that funny? I am the one that carries the comedic gene in this family. I make it thrive."

"Or you kill it with you're shitty jokes."

He raises a brow. "Which one was shitty? Give me one example."

"What do you call a seagull that flies over a bay?" I look at him and watch the utter disappointment with himself sink in as I recite the answer, "A bagel."

He shakes his head at me and says, "I was nine, you can't hold that one single joke over me for the rest of our lives."

"Of course I can, baby brother."

"By six minutes!"

Aunt Morrigan walks in with a wide smile on her face as she looks us over, "Oh, you're both so grown up. Aedon, you look handsome and . . . very studious." She says as she notices the book he has tucked into his tux's pocket - just in case it gets boring - before turning to me and beaming, "Stella, you look absolutely gorgeous. I love that dress."

I note that she's wearing an attractive red velvet dress and say, "You look gorgeous too. Red is definitely the right color for you, as always."

"I've always thought so." Aunt Morrigan claps her hands, "Well, we're having dinner up at the House of Wind, which one of you wants to be my escort?"

We both look at Aedon and he fakes a groan, "Fine, vicious women, making me carry you everywhere."

We both giggle as we walk out the door and head up the stairs to the roof where the winds nip at us, making goosebumps rise on my arms before I summon up a bubble of warm air to surround me.

My wings burst out of my back and shimmer under the night sky. Aedon's wings come out as well and he picks up Aunt Morrigan, "Ready?" He asks.

"Of course." I jump off the roof and soar up towards the House.

I don't pay attention to whether Aedon is following or not. I race against the wind until I land on the House's balcony. My wings fanning out behind me. I keep them out to compliment the dress.

Aedon lands behind me and gently places Aunt Morrigan on her feet. She pats his cheek and heads inside. We follow her, shrugging when we see that there are no lights on. As soon as we set foot inside people start shouting, "Surprise!" surprising me only because the lights suddenly flood on.

Aedon whispers down our twin bond,  _Told you._

I elbow him and rush into the crowd, hugging Mother and Father first. Mom hugs me back fiercely, "Happy birthday, baby girl. Was it all right? Were you surprised?"

Her eyes are so eager that I have to smile brightly and say, "Of course! You all almost gave me a heart attack, that's how surprise I was."

She smiles brightly, a little glow shining on her skin. She turns to father and says, "See I told you."

Father shakes his head and looks at me, smiling slyly, "You did, Feyre darling. You're always right." He bends over to hug me and whispers so Mom can't hear, "Thanks for playing along, little star. She was so excited for this." He leaves the hug and says loudly, "Happy birthday, little star."

I smile and look around and find my big brother, Kieran, Lena, and their son, Erin. I run over to them, hugging them eagerly, "How's everything going in Spring?"

Kieran and Lena shrug. Erin doesn't say anything, he's not much of a communicator. He's more of an observer like Aedon, though he's not quite as studious. Cauldron, he's only eight but he already looks so much like Kieran. Dark hair and tan skin, though his eyes are all Lena with their bright green color.

"Can't complain." Kieran says, "Though I do miss the Night Court."

I smile sadly. "Your home's still here."

Kieran shakes his head. "My home's wherever my family is."

Lena smiles. "Same here."

They lean into each other and kiss each other so I walk away, not wanting to be party to the kissing, but when I look around, searching for a family member to go to, I find that they're all with their respective partners, smiling down at each other. Even the eleven year old Amara, Cassian and Nesta's daughter, has found a boy to dance with, much to Uncle Cassian's dismay if his glare says anything.

I wander out onto a balcony that's lit up with candles and draped with vines of jasmine. I lean my back against the rails of the balcony, letting my wings spread out as the wind blows gently against them and I look up at the stars before sighing and closing my eyes. I love these parties, but I hate the lovey dovey family members. It's always the same. At dinners, at family gatherings, at holidays, at parties. Everyone has an epic love that they unknowingly flaunt to everyone, even Aunt Mor whose girlfriend has finally come out of her shy shell and has been much more receptive to public displays of affection. Much much more receptive.

Just once, I want a night where everyone's love isn't flaunted in my face. Just once, I want to feel normal in my family. Without an epic love story, I feel awkward. Why don't I have what they have? How do you even get what they have?

I've heard the magical tale of my parents' love story a million times. I grew up on stories of princes and princesses falling in love; Kieran and Lena are practically my generation's most iconic couple. My family seems to have a monopoly on happy love stories and yet . . . I can't seem to find anyone for myself.

Sure, I've had, um, relations, but I've never had anyone love me. I've only had brief flings and boyfriends that last no longer than a month. A month. I've begun to think that my title and my father scare away any males who might try to be with me. And every time I see a couple walking down a street with love in their eyes and whispers of sweet little things . . . it makes me feel sad and nostalgic for a love I've never had that I wish I could have.

"Not liking the party?" My eyes fly open to find Felix staring at me with his deep blue eyes.

I smile slightly. "It's not that." I look back through the archway leading back into the party and spot Aedon flirting with some random guy. This is going to be the rebound guy, I can tell. After Aedon's last - and longest lasting - boyfriend and him broke up, he's been searching for a rebound guy.

Felix follows my gaze. "Feeling left out?" His eyes wander down my form, following the tall, hourglass shape of my body. He mutters, "I'm sure you could find a guy willing to help you fit in."

I detect a tone in his voice that I've never heard before, but I don't mention it. Instead I say, "I'm sure I could, but why would I want some random male?"

Felix shrugs tensely. "Random males are disposable. Easy to get rid of in the morning once both your . . . needs are seen to." He almost seems to have to choke that sentence out.

I step closer to him. "Random males couldn't even get close to fulfilling _my_  needs."

He takes a step back. "I'm sure they couldn't." His words are a good answer, but the tone in his husky voice isn't what I want to hear.

So I step back, trying to keep my cheeks from turning pink. I look at the white stone of the floor beneath me. "What are you doing out here?" I ask.

He steps forward again and bring something out of a hidden pocket. A box covered in black velvet rests in the palm of his hand. He holds it out to me and says, "I got this for you, hoping you would like it. I wanted to give it to you before you starting opening the more luxurious presents. At least then it can be the best present ever for a few minutes before you start receiving diamonds as big as my head."

"There aren't any diamonds as big as your head." I joke before I step closer, gently taking the gift and smiling softly at him. "It'll be the best present ever. No matter what I get in there because it's from you, my best friend."

A blush spreads across his silver cheeks. "Just open it, stop being mushy."

I roll my eyes and look down at the gift. I gently lift the lid. I can't help the gasp that escapes me at what I find inside. I'm frozen in awe with my eyes wide and my mouth open. 

Inside the box is a ring. It's a dark black metal like the metal of my throne in the Hewn City. There's a gleaming white pearl in the middle of the ring surrounded by two crescent moons on each side. Little blue sapphires are embedded in the moons, making them shine like the real moon.

I feel a tiny tear slide down my cheek and Felix wipes it away. "Hey, you okay? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I can take it back and get you something new - "

"It's beautiful." I mutter and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug.

He wraps his arms around me and sighs, "Thank the Cauldron. I thought you hated it. You looked at it like you were seeing a ghost."

I shake my head and pull him impossibly closer. "It's gorgeous. I love it. I'm going to wear it every single day. You're my best friend." I murmur each little sentence with my lips against his neck. "I love - "

I cut myself off and back away. I bite my lip and look down at the ring, trying to decide which hand I want it on.

Felix looks down at me with an unreadable emotion in his dilated eyes. "May I put it on you?"

I nod. He takes the ring as I hold out both my hands, still unsure about which hand it should go on. He gently slides it onto my right ring finger. The ring is cold against my finger as my skin tingles where he touched me.

"It fits perfectly." I say.

He nods. "Good."

He starts to turn around and walk inside when I grab his hand. A slow song starts out of nowhere and I ask, "Would you dance with me? As another birthday gift?"

He turns back around and bites his lip before saying, "Yeah, of course."

I wrap my arms around his neck again, dipping the tips of my fingers into the silky curls of his dark hair. His hands find my waist, barely touching it though his fingers graze the uncovered skin of my back.

I listen to the lyrics of a song I think I've heard my parents play once or twice. It's not the type of song that friends dance to, but here we are.

 _I know it's warmer where you are_  
And it's safer by your side  
But right now I can't be what you want  
Just give it time  

"This song is very - "

"Nice." I cut him off.

 _And if you and I_  
Can make it through the night  
And if you and I  
Can keep our love alive, we'll find  

"Very nice." He murmurs with a rasp in his husky voice.

 _We can meet in the middle_  
Bodies and souls collide  
Dance in the moonlight  
When all the stars align  
For you and I, for you and I, oh  

His hands tighten slightly on my waist. I wonder if he's even aware of that. I look up at him, seeing his blue eyes already staring down at me. I almost stand on my tiptoes. I almost get closer to his face. Almost.

 _I know it's cold when we're apart_  
And I hate to feel this die  
But you can't give me what I want  
Just give it time  

He twirls me, spinning me around, before pulling me back towards him. I try to contain a breathy gasp as I land solidly with my back against his chest before he twirls me again, this time so we're facing each other again.

 _But for now we stay so far_  
'Til our lonely limbs collide  
I can't keep you in these arms  
So I keep you in my mind  

I can feel his hand tightening a bit more on my waist and I start to lean forward. I almost jerk away when I see that the hand resting on his shoulder has starting to glow dimly - cauldron, why does my skin have to glow when I'm happy; it's so fucking embarrassing - but he doesn't seem to notice. He leans down just a bit but then a howl echoes from the night sky behind us, not the howl of a wolf though. This is the howl of a male.

A male with a psychotic personality.

Felix releases me as his eyes find something, someone, in the darkness behind us. I turn around and gasp as I see what he's staring at. Fifty armed warriors flying through the sky behind us. They aren't Illyrians though; I know my people. 

They are not a race of Fae that I know of, they are something else entirely.

Their wings are feathered like a bird's.Their wings are black as coal and they look like they went through the meat grinder. Some are missing feathers in multiple places, except for their leader.

He's not missing a single feather.

Felix's calloused hands wrap around my upper arms as he pulls me back into the party. I quickly turn off the music with my darkness and send a biting frost through the room, hoping to chill everyone out and sober them up.

My father meets my eyes as I'm doing this and he makes his way towards me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "What's going on, Estelle?"

I glance over my shoulder at the balcony where my mother now stands with her hand clasped over her mouth. I say quietly, "You better go see for yourself."

He walks over there and I see his hands clench into fists. His wings spread out behind him and he grabs my mother's elbow, whispering something in her ear. They both walk back to me. "Do you know who they are?" My father asks.

I shake my head. "I don't have a clue."

My father nods. "Then we're on common ground. I've never seen them before."

I run over what I saw of them, trying to think of something helpful. "They don't fly very well, not like Illyrians." My brow furrows as an impossibility rings across my mind. I whisper the idea, "It's almost like they've just learned how to do it."

My father nods. "I thought so too, but that's impossible. If you're born with wings, why wait until you're an adult to learn how to use them?"

My mother whispers, "What if they weren't born with them?" Her own wings flair out behind her, a reminder of her unique position.

Maybe her position isn't so unique after all.

Felix says something for the first time since seeing the winged strangers, "That's not possible though. There's no way all of them were gifted wings, not even a High Lord or Lady of Spring could give them all wings."

My father's eyes widen and he opens his mouth to say something when the leader of the strangers lands with a heavy thud on the balcony. The thud wasn't from him falling, oh no. The thud was from him flying down so hard that he cracked the stone.

He looks up at us and smirks. A gasp claws its way up my throat as I recognize him. He's the one I punished in the Hewn City. How is he here? How is he here with wings? Why is he here?

His black eyes find me and the moon shines down on his white hair. "Well, well, well, am I interrupting a party? I'm afraid I didn't receive an invitation." He says in a silvery voice that drips with poison.

I step forward and remark, "I can't imagine why."

He plays at offended, placing a dramatic hand over his heart. "Is it because I offended the heir? I'm so sorry about that, I didn't think pathetic princesses could bite back." He snaps out 'bite back' in a tone that says that I didn't bite nearly hard enough.

I growl. "I'll show you how hard a princess can bite." My magic flares up inside me and I send creatures made from my swirling darkness flying towards him, ready to tear him in two, when he flings magic back at me, sending me flying back. I hear a crack as I hit a column, pain sears down my spine, but I stand up anyways, not ready to surrender. He caught me off-guard, it won't happen again.

"Is that all you've got?" I cough out as my anger burns inside me ready to be released. I'll singe this imbecile's head off. I start to hobble my way back to my place next to my father when my father nods to Felix who nods back and walks back to me, standing in front of me and covering my view of the stranger.

I try to step around him, but Felix just swipes me back. I'm tempted to use my magic but that's one thing I've never done and will never do. I will never use my magic on Felix.

My father's voice rings out through the crowd, "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

The stranger's voice exudes confidence, "I am Revan, Prince of Hybern and son to Queen Androma."

I see Lena and Kieran exchange questioning glances at each other before turning back to the scene in front of them. Interesting.

My mother says, "You seem to have forgotten my mate's second question, boy. What are you doing here?"

The stranger hisses, "Feisty little one, isn't she? Though I suppose that's where the princess gets her spirit." The so called prince adds with a purr, "and her extraordinary beauty."

I see the muscles in Felix's back tighten and I can tell Revan is glancing over here.

I huff, tired of being kept on the sidelines. I pool my magic together and step through the shadows, winnowing in front of my parents. I cross my arms over my chest as I demand, "What. Are. You. Doing. Here?" I enunciate each word perfectly clear.

Revan's eyes trace every curve of my body, making me feel like something evil is crawling on top of my skin but I don't shudder or shiver; I just decide to give myself a hundred baths after this to get the feeling of him eye-fucking me off my skin. I stand perfectly still, looking like a bored bystander. He shrugs. "I'm here for you, my princess."

"I'm not your anything." I say before I raise a brow and pout my lips playfully. "You're not still upset about me nearly choking you to death, are you?"

Revan steps forward. "Of course not, I rather enjoyed it." The way he says that makes me want to vomit. He continues, "And my mother, well, she found it rather amusing. She found it so amusing that she decided she wants an alliance."

I stare pointedly at his army of flying monkeys and stage whisper, "If you want an alliance, you're off to a bad start."

Honestly, I'm surprised my parents have let me talk this long. What's going on behind my back?

The prince chuckles. "Oh, them? They're here to ensure the alliance happens."

"Of course they are. What kind of an alliance is your mother wanting, if I may ask?" I ask smugly, knowing that after he brought armed soldiers into Velaris no alliance will ever be happening between us.

Revan beckons me forward, but when I shake my head he shrugs and says, "Well, I suppose I should have expected that, not a very becoming action for my future wife though."

Wife?

Revan laughs. "Oh, right. My mother wants a marriage alliance." He winnows to right in front of me and purrs, "Hello, lover."

I hear feet hitting the stone floor behind me, but whoever it is isn't fast enough to stop the prince from grabbing my face and planting his lips on mine. They're cold, clammy. And chapped, they scratch against mine uncomfortably. I almost don't realize what's happening until he tries to stick a tongue between my lips.

That's when I send a patch of ice over his balls.

He screeches and backs away grabbing himself through his pants. I wipe away his slobber and spit on the floor in front of him. I hear his laughter and I open my mouth to say something when Felix rushes up and punches Revan across the face, sending him flying backwards.

Felix growls, "We have rules here in the Night Court. Want to hear them?" He doesn't wait for Revan's answer as he continues, "Here's rule number one, don't kiss a lady that hates you."

Felix turns towards me. "Would you please go back to your brother? I don't feel like killing a guy tonight, but if you keep talking to him I just might." I see the murderous glare in his usually kind eyes and I know that that was testing him. The one thing he hates the most is seeing the people he loves in danger.

I nod and grab his arm, pulling him back with me. I stand near Kieran who has two swords unsheathed, ready to fight.

My mother and father step forward. "We want you to leave. Now." My mother says before turning and walking back towards us.

My father adds, "Tell your mother that we reject her proposal of an alliance due to it relying on us selling our daughter like cattle." He half turns towards us before turning back to the army and raising his hand. He snaps his fingers and every single male combusts, shredded to pieces with the killing power. "Tell her to get new lackeys too."

The prince only smiles at the sight of his demolished army. "Oh, she has plenty more where they came from." He flies into the dark of the night leaving us to wonder what he meant by that.


	4. Part 4

Chaos erupts as the male leaves. People scatter, trying to get back down to the city below or out of the Court completely. My family escorts me to the most secure room in the House which is basically like being placed in a prison cell due to the room only having a chair to sit in and nothing else. And they leave me there. Alone.

"This isn't fun, guys!" I yell.

I impatiently rap my fingers against the wooden arm of the chair, listening to the tapping noises and trying to calm my anger before I make the chair burst into flames. I start to smell the acrid scent of smoke and know that it's not working, so I play a game.

"98 fireballs in my hand, 98 fireballs!" I sing at the top of my lungs, "Take one out, throw it at the door. 97 fireballs in my hand!" I throw a fireball at the door for emphasis and start another round, "97 fireballs in my hand, 97 fireballs! Take one out, throw it at the door. 96 fireballs in my hand!"

Another fireball hits the door.

I hear my uncle Cass's voice through the door, "Stella, please keep it down in there! We're trying to figure this out!"

I growl in frustration and erupt in a column of flames before throwing an actual flame at the door. The metal door melts. I run out of the room and into the room they're all chatting in. I slam a flaming hand on the table that they're all gathered around. 

They stare at me aghast as I say, "You all don't get to make decisions about this without me! This is about me and  _I'll_  be making the final decision about what's going to happen with this. Got it?"

They all nod but Felix who's sulking in the corner. I glare at him, willing him to comply, but he shakes his head. "No, you're not thinking straight right now. Look at yourself, you're literally on fire!" He yells, pointing at me, before continuing, "You can't be asked to keep yourself safe when you're this angry."

I grumble as I realize that I am indeed on my fire. Flames are literally surrounding my body like a cocoon. I force my nails to bite into my palms until the flames disappear and I don't look like I'm going to destroy a city. I say, "Look at me, I'm perfectly calm. Let's get to work."

Aedon shakes his head. "No, none of us need to be working through this right now. We're all too shaken up."

Felix nods. "I agree, let's get some sleep and talk about this in the morning." He stares at me when he says this, giving me those pleading night sky eyes that I've never turned down.

"Fine, fine, but we are talking in the morning." I concede as I swiftly turn on my heel and trot up the stairs to the guest bedroom that I sometimes stay in when I'm too tired to fly back to the townhouse. Right now I'm not too tired. I'm too angry. And anxious.

I sink down onto the white sheets of the bed and I try to get some sleep, but sleep doesn't come to me. Instead my mind wanders over the events of the night. Marriage. That's what he wants. A marriage alliance. That's what those dreams of mine had been about, right? Me, marrying someone for the good of my Court, but why would I do that? There's nothing that the Night Court can't defeat.

Right?

A light knocking sounds on my door and I don't say anything, but the door opens all the same. I keep my eyes closed, I don't need to see to know who it is. I can feel that it's Felix. I have his own personal magic memorized, especially how it seems to reach out towards mine. He sighs as he sees me asleep. I hear him whisper something, but the words are a blur.

Whatever he said, it seems to be enough because he leaves after that, closing the door softly. I burrow further into the soft blankets and look out the window next to my bed, it covers the length of the wall and I never tire of looking out it. The stars, my stars, always calm me, relaxing me enough for sleep.

I soon drift off in a sleep that is anything but peaceful.

\-----

_A feather light touch slides across my temple, smoothing back a wavy strand of black hair and making me shiver in something other than desire. The hand is shrouded in darkness, as is the owner of the hand. I look around, searching for the hand that touched me and brought shivers down my back._

_"Oh, lover, won't you give up this hopeless rebellion? Just give in." The voice is sleek like a snake and I don't trust it for a second, but for a moment it gives me pause. I know it. "Don't fight me, I don't want to make this awkward."_

_I clench my fists as I call out, "Revan?"_

_The shadows drift away and he walks out of them, smiling at me. "Of course, who else would call you 'lover'?" He frowns and looks faintly concerned. "Unless there is another? Perhaps your lowborn dancing partner?"_

_He's suddenly right behind me and whispering into my ear, "There better not be another, I would hate to_ kill  _for your affection."_

_I whirl around only to find him gone._

_I twirl back around and see him smirking at me in a way that is anything but playful. I push away the nervous feeling he gives me and ask, "What do you want with me?"_

_"I want to marry you."_

_His answer is simple in the way that a spider's web is simple. "That's all? You don't want my land and my power?"_

_He chuckles. "Of course I want that, and I shall have it. Whether you want me to or not."_

_"Why?" I shake my head. "My family will beat you. You can threaten us with everything you have and we will beat you with everything we have. We've done it before. We'll do it again."_

_He shakes his head and smiles darkly. "Not this time, princess."_

_I grit my teeth as I say, "You're in my head. I want you out. Now."_

_"Very well, lover. We'll meet again soon."_

\-----

I jolt awake from the dream to find myself and my bed covered in rose petals. I shriek and jump out of the bed, shaking away the silky red things. Where did they come from? Oh Cauldron. My eyes dart around the room, searching for any place someone could be hiding. I don't see anyone.

I almost sigh with relief until my eyes land on my pillow where a piece of crisp white paper lies folded near where my head rested. I slowly lift my hand to stroke my temple where that feather light touch lingered in the dream.

"Oh Cauldron," I mutter aloud as I rush back to the bed, jostling the covers and petals. I grab the paper and unfold it finding a note written in scrawling handwriting. It's short and ominous.

_Hello, lover, do you miss me yet? Come find me. Under the Mountain. Two days. Noon. My mother is looking forward to meeting you. Hope you enjoy the rose petals._

_-Revan_

The paper drops from my hand and I slowly stoop to pick it up and fold it back up, hiding it in my hand. I'd hide it in my dress but I'm still wearing the dress from last night which has no pockets or hiding places whatsoever. Last night it was a good idea to wear a skintight dress, now it's an inconvenience. I need to change quickly. I glance at the wall of glass, knowing that there's a spot that slides open that I could fly through to get down to the townhouse to change - 

A knock at my door startles me, making me nearly drop the note. I rush over to the door and open it only a slither. "What?"

Aedon looks at me with wide eyes and says, "We wanted to discuss last night." He hands me some clothes and adds, "Father thought you'd be more comfortable in other clothes."

I nod thankfully and quickly shut the door. I strip out of the dress and put on the casual pair of black pants and the loose shirt that Father provided. There aren't any shoes to wear and I'm happy with that. Shoes can be pests. I slip my note into my pocket, hiding it. I'll tell my family about it when I think I need to tell them, not before.

I scurry downstairs and towards the table where everyone sat and talked last night. I pull out a chair and sink into it, slamming my feet onto the table. Everyone looks at me expectantly. "What?" I ask.

"Would you like to start?" My father inquires.

I shake my head. "Not really. Why don't you all start and I'll just see whether my opinion matches any of yours."

Cass nods. "All right, I say we kill him."

Aunt Nesta nods, liking the idea very much.

Lena and Kieran shake their heads though. Lena explains, "I've met his mother, and she's terrible from what I saw when we were in Hybern, a child being raised by her . . . Sebastian was terrible when we met him, but this Revan seems worse." Lena shivers, knowing how easy it would have been for her to turn out like Revan with how Tamlin raised her.

Why isn't this queen trying to force a marriage between me and Sebastian? That's a question that sticks in my head. He's the crown prince, isn't he? You'd think she'd want to put as much power behind her side of this alliance as she can.

Kieran nods. "That's true, but he could have been just acting out in front of his army so none of them reported back to Androma that he wasn't cruel."

I huff softly, that's not the answer, considering he was pretty alone in the dream and still pretty insane.

My mother shakes her head. "I don't like him. Can't we go with Cass's idea?"

Cass raises his fist to fist bump Aunt Nesta who rolls her eyes at him. Azriel speaks up, "I wouldn't go that route. Surely killing Androma's son would start a war?"

My mother shakes her head. "They already brought armed warriors into Velaris. That's enough to start a war. The question isn't how we're starting a war, it's how we want to start out in the war. Do we want to start out ahead with Revan's death or do we want there to be that bastard on the other side taunting us the whole time."

Elain speaks in a drifting tone I've heard her use in her prophecies, "There are too many crows, so many crows."

Crows? The warriors from last night? Their wings did look like crow's wings. But too many? How many? There can't be many more. Can there?

My father turns to me, gazing at me as if he's searching for something he can't find. "Estelle, you're very quiet. You wanted a part in this and now you're not saying anything."

I smirk. "I'm taking notes. One, where the hell is Felix?" I ask as I look around and find that he's not in the room.

My father shrugs, "He's not here, besides he's not in the Inner Circle."

"But he was here last night, and he seemed really concerned about what was going on so why isn't he - "

Nesta cuts me off as she sneers, "A little too concerned if you ask me."

Aedon snorts and whispers into my mind,  _See everybody sees it, even Aunt Nesta._

"Oh, shut up!" I snap out loud to Aedon, though no one else knows he was mind-linking me and they probably all think I was talking to Nesta. I shake my head. "That wasn't meant for you, Aunt Nesta." I say as I turn a glare towards Aedon.

No one says anything and I turn back to them to find them all staring at my parents with curiosity. I watch as my parents stare at each, making different faces as they speak to each other through their bond. They're obviously arguing, but over what? This? It's totally something they would do, decide on a solution inside their heads and then tell us so they show that they're on the same page.

They turn back to us and my dad says, "We think it would be best if Azriel spies on Hybern, or sends some spies, just to tell us what's going on there. For all we know this could just be some stupid thing the prince decided to do all on his own." 

I feel the weight of his note in my pocket and know that that's not true. His mother wants this too, I don't understand how she thinks she's going to get it though. But I'm going to find out. 

The others all nod at my father's suggestion and when they turn to me for my approval, I nod. I can't tell them about the note, about the meeting, not yet. I need to go to this meeting, but not alone. Who will go with me? Who can I trust not to tell Mom and Dad? None of my aunts and uncles, I love them to death, but they won't understand. Aedon? Maybe . . . but no. He's a mama's boy, if she finds anything suspicious, which she will, she'll press him about it and he'll tell her without hesitation. Kieran and Lena are a definite no. They lost their childish fun when they had Erin, they're all mature and dutiful now. Too dutiful to keep this a secret.

Felix. Felix wouldn't tell my family if I asked him not too. We never break promises to each other. I'll ask him to go with me, he'd do anything to protect me and it wouldn't look too obvious for him and I to go somewhere together for a day; everybody knows we're best friends and most think that we're more so what would be the big deal?

"So we're agreed?" My mother says and everybody makes some kind of gesture of agreement, including me, and we all leave the table, ready to get out of the House after last night.

I spread my wings and jump off a nearby balcony, plummeting towards the ground for a few feet before straightening out and swiftly soaring down to the townhouse. It might be okay to walk around barefoot around my family, but if I'm going into town it's not a good idea.

I fly onto my balcony and land swiftly, running into my room and grabbing a pair of black sandals to match my pants. I quickly slide my feet into the sandals and fly back off the balcony and towards the outskirts of town.

I land in the overgrown grass outside a small, beaten-up cottage. Sitting in the grass, I pick a few pieces out and braid them together while I wait. He doesn't disappoint. Like always, Felix walks out the front door and rolls his eyes at me. "What are you doing here?"

I shrug. "You weren't at the meeting this morning. I wanted to see if you were alright." I glance at him and notice that the whites of his eyes are streaked with red. He didn't sleep much last night.

He sits next to me and bumps his shoulder against mine. "You know I hate official business and such, your family has a habit of not really asking for my opinion anyways."

I bump him back. "That's not true. They were wondering where you were." I lie.

"No, they weren't. You were." He starts to braid a few pieces of grass like me.

I shrug. "All right, so maybe that is the case, but they do value your opinion." I say and he grumbles a bit before I change the subject, "Speaking of your opinion, I need to ask you for some advice."

He grabs the braided pieces of grass from me and adds it to his own little braid, circling it together to make a crown. "Sure, what's going on? Is it boy troubles? I told you Aedon would probably be better with those than me."

I elbow him. "No, not boy troubles." I think about the weird dream and huff. I concede, "Well, maybe boy troubles, but not in the way you're thinking." I slide the note out of my pocket and hand it to him.

He glances at me before unfolding it and reading it. His eyes slide over it for barely a second before he crumbles it and tosses it in the grass. "No."

"You don't even know what I was going to say." I object.

Felix looks at me with narrowed eyes as he says, "You were going to ask me to go with you and to not tell anybody about it and the answer is no because your mother will kill me if she finds out and then your father will bring me back to life and kill me again. So no."

I pout my lips and widen my eyes, looking at him like Noctis looks at me when she wants a treat, "B - but Felix . . . please." I mumble quietly with a teary voice, making my lower lip tremble.

His eyes follow my lips for a second before they meet my eyes and he shakes his head but sighs, "Fine, but if your family finds out would you please make sure that your aunt Nesta isn't my executioner?"

I giggle and nod. "There will be no executioner, trust me. They wouldn't kill my one and only friend."

"I wouldn't put it past them, Stell." He says as he places the grass crown gently on my head.

That's when he really looks at my hair and starts laughing, laughing like a maniac.

"What?" I ask and pat it only to realize that it's still in the braid from last night, mainly. Lots of strands are out of place and there's a huge knot at the base of the braid. I think there's still some rose petals scattered in it and it probably looks like such a huge mess.

"Oh Cauldron!" I shout and immediately start unweaving the braid, letting the few rose petals scatter to the grass, and start raking my fingers through the knots. How did my family not notice the rose petals? I guess that's a testament to how invested they are in figuring things out.

Felix scoots closer and helps me separate the knots. "There, I think it's good." He says when it's all twisted apart and then he looks at the rose petals. His brow furrows before his eyes fly to where he threw the paper.

He looks down with closed eyes and tightly asks, "What did _he_  do?"

I swallow and swipe a hand through my hair, not trying to fix it but trying to calm my nerves. "He - I think he snuck into my room somehow. I woke up covered in rose petals with that note next to my head."

I don't want to tell him about the dream, about how  _he_  got into my head while I was sleeping.

Felix looks up at me and shakes his head. "There's something else. What else did he do?" I've never been able to keep anything from Felix, even when I want to.

I gulp. "He got into my head."

Felix grits his teeth. "He did what?"

"He got into my head and made me dream."

"Made you dream about what?"

I hold out my hand and say, "It'll be easier if I can just show you."

I always ask for permission, to show him things. How could I not?

He nods and puts his hand in mine. I squeeze tight as much to comfort him as to comfort myself. I replay the memory of the dream in my mind. His hand tightens around mine as the dream continues until it ends. 

Felix looks at me and shakes his head. "I don't know if I should go with you to this meeting. I might kill the bastard."

I tighten my hand around his, squeezing for dear life. "I need you there. Please. No one else will be able to keep me in control." I scoot closer and say so softly that the wind could carry it away, "I need you."

He nods and pulls me in for a hug. "I'll go. But I make no promises not to kill him. Especially if he touches you."

I huff. "If he touches me, you won't need to kill him. I'll have done it already."


	5. Part 5

The next two days I sneak around my house and avoid my family as much as I can so they don't think that something strange is going on, they can always tell when I'm hiding something. My father hasn't asked me to help him with decisions or anything, I think he's giving me time off due to the recent scare which I'm fine with because it gives me more time to think about what I'm going to do during the meeting.

How should I act? Should I act like I do with my own Court? Or should I be the raging bitch that I am in the Hewn City? Definitely, the raging bitch. I need them to fear me and my Court, not think I'm a privileged princess.

What should I wear? I shouldn't wear a dress. Not a full dress at least. Or should I? No. I need something that I can fight my way out in incase things go bad.

These are the thoughts that drifted through my brain before Felix and I left for our "camping trip in the mountains." It's true that we are staying in the mountains after we're done at the meeting, a convenient lie.

Felix lands on my balcony as I finish packing my light bag and he asks, "Are you ready to go?" His gaze wanders down my body as he realizes that I'm wearing the black leather pants and boots from my leathers but not the top. Instead I'm wearing a tight, purple corset type shirt with long sleeves; it pushes my breasts up in a seductive way but provides protection from any small slices that a blade could make, it's something I would expect to see on a member of the Court of Nightmares.

"How do I look?" I ask.

He looks me over again before muttering, "Good."

I was hoping for a better reaction than that. It's not even great. It's just good. I'll have him know that this corset is ribbed with silver, and although it looks delicate it's made with one of the thickest fabrics ever made. I may also have several daggers stuck down the front of it, just in case.

"Are you ready?" He asks again.

I nod and follow him to the balcony where we both jump off and fly away. We wait until Velaris is a blip in the distance before we winnow to the entrance to Under the Mountain. 

We both land in front of it and glance at each other.

Felix nods towards the mouth of the entrance. "From here we go on foot. Are you ready?"

I nod. "Ready to get this over with."

We walk into the mouth of Hell and don't look back.

\-----

Felix and I glance at each other as we hear noise up ahead. Shrieking and shrewd music echo throughout the tunnels. It's dark and disturbing. A coarse cackle echoes through the tunnel, warning me that we're getting close. A cold breeze sweeps through the damp tunnels, making me shiver. I wrap a bubble of warmth around my body.

I see lights up ahead and I pause. My hand rests on the wall of the cave as I listen, trying to hear anything that could help us. I don't really hear any distinct noises other than the shrieking and the music, as well as some coarse cackling; nothing particularly helpful finds my ears.

I sigh, prepared to continue our trek, and almost lift my hand away from the wall when I accidentally run my fingers over an engraving. What could possibly be on the wall?

I light myself up so I can see what I just touched and I have to swallow down a gasp when I see it. Streaks carved in the wall, not by any claws. These were made by someone's nails dragging down the wall as if they were being tortured and they just needed something to hold onto and the only thing was the wall. I see what looks like dried blood in the lines of the streaks.

I don't notice that words are carved into the wall next to the streaks until Felix points them out to me. They say,  _Help me_.

I'm really feeling like turning back, maybe we should.

No. I'm not turning back. Not now.

I feel Felix's hand on my back, encouraging me to keep taking steps forward. Forward. Forward. Until we reach the end of the tunnel and his hand disappears and we're left standing at the mouth of an entrance to a big room filled with people, mostly males, with those crow-like wings from the other night. Tables are laden with food that makes me want to puke, it all looks like the fur is only half off. Dark stains on the stone walls look like blood stained there for a long time. A skeletal body is strung up on one side of the wall and I wonder whose it was. Whatever happened to Amarantha's body?

Sitting at the front of the room, in a throne of bones that Lena told me she's fond of, is a female that can only be Androma. Revan stands next to her, whispering in her ear about something that makes her lips stretch into a sinister smile. She rubs a hand down Revan's cheek in a way that is anything but familial. 'I smell incest.' I want to hum, but not here. Not now.

On the other side of the queen is another young man. He has black hair and the same onyx eyes as Revan, and apparently the queen, and four scars going down one of his cheeks. This must be Sebastian, the late king of Hybern's only son. He's a bit more muscular than Lena described him to be; he must have grown out of being lanky in the time between her visit and now.

I step out of the darkness the tunnel provides and glide through the parting crowd. Revan smirks at me, his eyes raking across my frame in a way that makes feel like bugs are crawling over me. I hear a growl behind me. Sebastian watches me with just curiosity, he doesn't seem to lust after me as much as Raven. Good.

I stop in front of the queen's throne and stand there. Stand. I won't bow for her, even if her title is considered above my own. Felix starts to bow, but I hold a hand out, stopping him. He will not bow to her either.

Her lips stretch into a smile as she observes this with cruel obsidian eyes. She finally speaks in the tone of a snake, "Well, is this the lovely lady Estelle?"

Revan steps forward to answer, but I cut him off, "I am Estelle, heir to the Night Court, Star of Prythian, delegate of the lesser fae of Prythian." I say, making sure to use all my titles, but not my last name. Father says that our full names are power, that we should never reveal them to our enemies. And Androma is certainly not a friend.

She nods, obviously amused, and turns her eyes to Felix. Her eyes narrow as she inquires, "And this is?"

I gesture to him and reply, "This is Felix, my personal guard." I don't add that he's my friend. My best friend. My only real friend. I won't say anything personal, never let your enemies know you care. That's where they get you. Once they know you care there's no going back.

Androma's lips curve into a sensuous smile as her eyes drift up and down Felix's frame, caressing each muscular line. She comments, "Well, he's quite handsome for a lowborn, isn't he?" Anger rises in me and I think about burning her faux satin dress right off her and letting her skin melt with it as she baits, "Mind if I borrow him later?"

I snarl, "He's mine." The three sets of eyes dart right to me and I add in a lighter tone, "And he is not to be touched."

The queen nods slightly. "Of course, Stella."

I cringe at my nickname coming from her lips.

"Estelle." I correct. "Only my friends call me Stella, and you and I have barely just met." Not to mention that I'd rather be friends with Tamlin than be friends with her.

"Estelle." She consents before smiling over at her son and saying, "I do like her, as brazen as you described."

Okay, really? Talking about me right in front of me? These people really do have no manners. They're just like the Autumn Court boys.

Revan chuckles. "Oh, yes. Brazen is the right word for her, but also very stubborn, not bowing to a queen and all." The prince turns to his cousin and inquires, "What do you think, Sebastian?"

I clench a fist, hiding it in my skirt, as I start to smell smoke. A sure sign that I'm about to lose my temper and burn someone alive.

Sebastian doesn't seem particularly interested in the question but he does say, "She feels powerful." His dark eyes meet his cousins and hold his gaze for a second, as if he's trying to communicate something with him, "I would not irritate the heir too badly, cousin." He nods to me respectfully.

Maybe one of them does have manners.

I break into their conversation, "I would really like to know what this meeting is supposed to be about rather than the different ways to describe me. That could take all night and I have a full night planned."

The queen's attention returns to me. Her blood-red lips split into a sly smile. "Oh, really? With whom?"

"Myself, I plan to take a long and relentless bath to wash away all the muck from those tunnels." I quip while pretending to be interested in my perfectly manicured nails.

Sebastian shakes his head and takes a deep breath as if he knows something bad is about to happen as Revan's lips curve into a lascivious smile and - he's going to say something tha - "I could help with that."

He said it.

Felix's growl echoes through the room, making every winged warrior stop their partying and turn towards the half-breed, intensely watching him as he starts to take a step forward until I hold out my hand to stop him. Thank the Cauldron that he gave me permission to speak into his mind if need be while we're down here.

 _Please, Felix, let me handle this. Calm down._  I say into his head. He calms only marginally though I still feel his anger pounding into the presence that I have in his head. I pull out of his mind before it gets too intoxicating, I don't need his anger mixing with mine.

I strain to smile at the prince as I assure, "That won't be necessary. I have all the help I need."

Androma eyes Felix again. "Of course you do, dear." She claps her hands together and exclaims, "Well, let's discuss what's going to happen, yes?" She doesn't wait for my answer before she nods and continues, "Good, so basically you're going to marry my son here or there will be war."

I snort - in the most dignified way, of course - and make a point of looking around at her room full of winged warriors. "With them?" I ask.

"They can barely fly straight, let alone while shooting targets and keeping their swords steady while fighting opponents. The Illyrians will take them in a second." I look around and add, "And is this all you have? You have a couple hundred, maybe. We have thousands and all the Courts of Prythian behind us. You will fail. Let's end this meeting with an alliance made through civility rather than a war made through stupidity."

The queen laughs while her son breaks into cackles, her nephew just looks annoyed. I stare at them lazily, waiting for their laughing fit to be done. What could they possibly find funny about that? I thought that last line was pretty deep if I do say so myself.

The queen suddenly stops laughing and her whole demeanor changes as she looks at me with cold, narrowed eyes, "You stupid girl. Foolish as all your family has been. Fools, all of you."

I immediately turn my chin up and hiss, "You will not speak to me that way. I am the heir to the most powerful Court in Prythian. You are a queen, but I am a Night Court heir. The power running through your veins is a trickle compared to  _mine_."

Even as I say it, I'm not so sure. There's something off about her power. It's so strong, yet it feels false.

It doesn't feel like anything I've ever felt before.

She sneers at me and swipes an arm in front of her, gesturing to her soldiers. "This is only a handful of my army! We have more than you will ever know. We are stronger than we look. And we have more on our side than mere Fae." She shakes her head and her smirk turns into a psychotic smile. "We have ancient beings that you couldn't even comprehend."

I shake my head at her insanity. "I'm so sure."

"I'm not the only one who escaped The Prison, dear one." She informs.

That catches me. The most dangerous creatures in Prythian, in the world, are trapped in that prison. Some might be simple Fae, but others . . . others are otherworldly creatures that we cannot even dream of. She's lying. She has to be. That's the only option. It's luck that she escaped. If others escaped . . . someone on the inside helped them out, but the guards would never, could never. Their soul purpose in the world is to keep the prisoners inside The Prison.

"You're lying." I laugh. "You are lying just so I'll marry your son out of fear." I narrow my eyes and make darkness swirl around my skirt. "Well, I have news for you. I don't surrender out of fear."

She smiles slyly, darkly. "No, I don't suppose you would, but you will surrender when your people are being savagely murdered before your eyes." She rests her chin on her hand and sings, "All because someone is selfish and won't marry Revan."

Revan smiles at that and even seems to stifle a laugh, but I ignore it, focusing on his mother. "What part of 'all the Courts of Prythian' do you not understand? When you deal with one of us, you deal with all of us."

She presses a hand to her heart and intones, "So touching, I feel a tear. Oh, wait, that's from amusement." She wipes at her dry eyes and says, "Listen, girl, I don't want to kill everybody you love - well, I sort of do - I will though if you don't marry Revan." She pauses and her gaze wanders from me to over my shoulder, to Felix. "I might even start with Felix here."

My shoulders tighten as a snarl rises in my throat. 'You lay a hand on him and you'll find yourself with one less hand.' is what I want to say, but something presses against my mind. It feels like a little smidge of light coiled in darkness and it presses against my mind in a way that's telling me not to say that, warning me to find something else to say.

 Instead, I say, "You see, you just won't get that far. You raise war against us and you'll find yourself without a head in an instant."

"Like my brother?" She asks before adding, "Didn't him and his lackeys manage to have both your mother and father killed before he died? Of course, they were brought back, but still. I don't think they'll get anymore second chances."

Fire starts to spurt out of my palms and I'm seeing red until Felix's hand finds the middle of my back, his nails digging into the fabric on my back, and I calm down. The fire sputters out. I need to stay in control. I _need_  to stay in control.

The queen smiles victoriously. "What is so wrong with Revan anyways? He's handsome, as was his father. He has all the girls at home following him around like lost puppies. He would make such a good husband.

"It might be that he's trying to force me to marry him that I find repulsing." I say nonchalantly.

"Maybe it's that highborn isn't your type." Androma accuses as she stares behind me.

I feel that fire rising in me again and this time I push it down, only because I want to kill this bitch with my bare hands and not with my magic. I stare at her with purely innocent eyes. "You see right through me, I have a secret lover and that's the reason I don't want to put myself into an arranged marriage with someone who forced a kiss on me and broke into my mind and my room while I was sleeping. That's exactly why. Bravo for figuring it out."

Androma shrugs. "I don't see anything wrong with anything you just said."

I want to call her a psychopath. A crazy ass bitch that needs to be put in a mental institution. I want to tell her to stick her head where the sun doesn't shine. I want to say a lot of things that would probably get at least one of these warriors running towards me.

But that little something is still pressing against my mind, warning me.

Instead I reply, "Maybe all of it, but I guess Hybern has different standards for romance."

Revan shrugs. "The girls love it back home."

Yuck. I'm sure they don't. Poor girls. "If we're done talking politically, I think it's time for me to leave so I can tell my mother and father about everything that's happened here today."

The queen smiles. "You're excused. We hope to be hearing from you soon. Don't take too much time to decide. Our army likes to crash parties."

Felix and I nod before turning and leaving.

I feel eyes on my back the whole way through the tunnels.

As soon as the sun's shining down on us again we fly away. To the mountains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think? Any theories? What do y'all like/dislike? I love feedback!


	6. Part 6

The cabin is the same as I remember. Comforting in its quiet warmth. My mother's paintings linger on the doorways and around the rooms; they look a bit faded, she'll have to touch them up soon. Some of Kieran's are around here as well. He painted the door to my room with the night sky as a birthday present when I was little.

Felix looks around and his eyes widen a little as he takes everything in, this is the one place I've never taken him. I never thought it was important to bring him here.  I smile at him as he walks through the rooms, studying everything.

"You're lucky I convinced my family to let you come here. It's our little secret. Do you promise you won't tell anyone?" I ask teasingly.

Felix nods. "Pinky promise." He holds out his pinky and I lock mine around it, twisting, before releasing it.

"Good, I'd hate for you to be kicked out." I slide off my shoes and say, "Now, I'm going to take a long and luxurious bath to wash off the feeling of  _his_  eyes on me."

Felix nods slightly, "Yell if you need anything."

I dramatically gasp and act aghast, "Are you offering to bring me something while I am in the nude? You scoundrel."

He chuckles softly. "Go, you wench. Get your bath and don't yell if you need anything because I'm not getting anything for you, you ungrateful gnat."

I stick my tongue out at him as I slide through the doorway.

I can practically feel him sticking his tongue out too.

I shake my head at our childishness as I walk into the bathroom to find the tub already full with steaming water. I slide into it, sighing as the water warms my tired bones and glides over my dirt-ridden skin.

I sink in the tub, lowering my whole body into the water. When I come up for air, I grab my soap at the edge of the tub and lather it in my hands before rubbing it through my hair and letting it sit as I scrub my body with a bar of lye soap that scratches my soft skin in a wonderful way. With my skin clean and the hair soap ready for washing, I carefully wash the soap out of my hair - carefully because I hate getting soap in my eyes, burns like a bitch.

When I'm done, the water changes itself and I'm sitting in perfectly clean water again. Just relaxing. I braid my hair and let the tail hang over the edge, water drips onto the floor, as I lean my head against the cool edge of the tub. Drip, drip, drip. I start to fall asleep when I feel the water cool down. The cabin's magic keeping me awake, it knows how I hate to fall asleep in the tub though I do it so often.

I start to get out of the water only to realize that I didn't bring any clothes in with me. Not even a towel. Damn it. The house has already cleaned up my dirty clothes. Damn it, magic cabin. Damn it.

"Felix!" I yell reluctantly.

"What?" He yells back, sounding anxious rather than annoyed.

"Can you bring me a towel? Or some clothes?" I yell back. This is why I asked my parents for my own personal bathroom like they have, but oh no. I have to share with everybody else. This is what happens Mom and Dad, this is what happens.

"I guess." He yells back. He sounds so thrilled.

"Thanks! My door is the one with the stars painted on it!"

He doesn't answer, but I can picture him nodding and heading towards, stooping his head to get through the doorway.

He calls out a question, "What do you want me to bring you? A gown? A shirt? Should I bring . . . undergarments too?"

I roll my eyes and yell, "Undergarments would be nice, as well as a shirt. I don't think I even have nightgowns." I normally just sleep in long shirt and underwear.

He yells back, "Alright, got it."

I hear his feet as he walks through the house back to the bathroom. He waits outside for a second, his hand twisting the knob before dropping it and twisting it again.

"Oh for the love of Pete, would you get in here?" I holler, ready to get out.

He hastily opens the door and it slams against the wall as he freezes in the doorway. He looks at me like he's seeing a ghost. Eyes wide and jaw slack. He probably thinks I look terrible without makeup on and with my half-wet hair hanging limply behind my head, not that I do. I look like a gods-given miracle all the damn time; Aedon says I have no modesty and he is totally correct.

"What? Am I terribly hideous without the makeup?" I ask teasingly as he stands there frozen.

He shakes his head slightly before sitting a pile of clothes on the floor and rushing back out the door. Well then what the fuck is his problem?

I quickly scramble out of the tub, drying myself magically before I pull on the undergarments and shirt he chose for me. Of course he would choose my comfy cotton, daisy-dotted panties with shirt long enough to reach my knees.

I grumble as I make my way to the living room where Felix sits with this head in his hands. "Ding dong, the witch is here." I mutter as I enter the room and sit next to him, pulling my legs underneath me and crossing my arms under my chest. "What's going on in that head of yours?" I ask quietly.

Felix looks up and says, "Number one, how am I going to keep from killing that prince? Number two, I really hate him. Number three, what the hell would I do if you actually marry him?"

My brow furrows, "Why would that matter? Nothing would change if I marry him, which I'm not going to do."

Felix looks at me with a face that says 'are you serious?'. "They think we're together, or at least that we've been _together_. He would literally kill me before letting me see you again. Well, he would try at least."

"He wouldn't succeed. My Felix is the best fighter I've ever seen." It's true. He wasn't trained by a commander like me, but he knows his way around a fight. Perks of growing up with the baggage of being a half-breed, bastard-born Fae, even Velaris has bullies.

"My Felix." He repeats. "Yours. Did you have to say that I was yours back there?" He grits out, obviously irritated. He jumps off the couch and paces around the room.

A crease forms between my eyebrows as I follow him with my eyes. I try to come up with some excuse to my obvious slip-up. "You're my citizen, you're under my protection. I had to let her know that - "

He shakes his head and points a finger behind him in a random direction though I know it's meant to be pointing at them. "They didn't take it that way!"

I stand up to defend myself, "I know how they took it!" I yell without meaning to and immediately sigh, trying to remedy this I say, "Look, if you're worried that they'll come after you because they think you're my lover, don't. You'll always be protected - "

He cuts me off, "That's not even close to what I'm worried about."

"Then what are you worried about?" I yell as confusion clouds my mind. "Tell me. What's so wrong with me trying to keep her from getting her grubby hands on you?"

He points to me, "That, that right there."

"What?" I ask, lost about his point.

"You kept getting jealous, letting your emotions cloud your judgement."

I shake my head and roll my eyes. "I was not getting jealous."

"Yes, you were." He says.

"No, I wasn't."

"You were."

"I wasn't!" I yell.

"You were!"

"Fine, I was!" I yell and gesture to him. "What's so wrong with me not wanting to share my best friend with some evil witch? What? Is it that selfish of me to want to keep you safe even if it's because I don't want anyone else to have you?"

As soon as I say it, I realize that it is a little selfish. Okay, a lot selfish. Yeah, I realize that one day he's going to find a serious girlfriend and want to be with her and spend more time with her than me and I'm going to have to take a hike, but is it bad that I don't want that to happen? Probably, but I never claimed to be good at sharing.

"Jealousy is fine, good. Be jealous all you want. But don't be stupid about it!" He yells, surprising me. "Geez, it's not like I was going to let her take me into a darkened corridor and have her way with me. It was stupid to be jealous in that moment because nothing was going to come out of her comments. Instead of being careful, you let her see that you care and that was a big mistake. She can get to you now."

I shake my head. "She won't. I won't let that happen."

He sighs and looks at me with softened eyes. "It better not. I'm not losing my only friend because she made some foolish comments." He teases, an apology for yelling.

"At least I wasn't the one growling every five minutes." I purr with a raised eyebrow, apology accepted.

Felix rolls his eyes and sinks onto the couch. "Revan was staring at you like he was hungry and you were a feast that he wanted to devour."

"And?" I prompt, still teasing.

"If anyone's going to stare at you like you're a feast, he better look ravenous. Not just hungry." Felix explains seriously while looking at his hands rather than me.

"Oh." I mutter.

I sink onto the couch next to him and lean my head against his shoulder. "Your hair is wet." He grumbles.

"Deal with it." I mumble.

"Did your mother paint all this?" He asks out of the blue.

I nod against his shoulder. "She got bored."

"And the hand print on the kitchen table? That's a little big to be her's."

I blush as I remember what Aedon, Kieran, and I decided happened to that table. Well, I should say what happened  _on_ that table. "Um, no, it's not her's."

Felix turns towards me and squints at my reddened cheeks, "Your dad's?" He asks.

I nod.

"I don't want to know any more, do I?" He asks.

"No. No, you do not." I say.

He coughs, "Right."

"You should hug me in public." I try.

"That's not happening." He says without even a second thought.

"You're a stickler."

He shakes his head at me. "I'm your moral compass."

I nod against his shoulder, burrowing my head into the crook of his neck. "True."

\-----

_I'm being kissed. Lips roughly brushing against my own. Somebody is biting my lower lip, nibbling on it like it's a cookie that they can't get enough of. The biting seems to be a favorite of my partner. I normally like bites too, soft bites that make me feel precious, but something is different. Is that blood on my chin?_

_The lips slide down my neck, sucking on my soft skin, as I breathe heavily. The lips follow the line of my collarbone down to the curve of my breast. The lips follow the line of my blouse, curving down the V-neck and back up again to the other side of my chest._

_My eyes are closed. Why are my eyes closed? I don't keep my eyes closed during this. Never during this part. It's never been mind-blowing enough for me to have to keep my eyes squeezed shut._

_I can't open my eyes._

_I try to lift my hands, to touch the person on top of me. Because if I can touch them I can figure out who they are. Obviously. Well . . . maybe._

_The lips suck along my collarbone and find their way back up my neck, licking their way up the curve of my neck.  A nip right below my ear. I should be gasping for breath. Instead, I'm trembling from a trickle of something going down my back, something wrong._ _A hand is cupping the back of my head, fingers curling tightly in the thick mane of my hair._

_The hand cupping my head releases me before sliding down my neck and abdomen. The hand snakes its way underneath my shirt and up my side. It reaches my breast and makes its way to cupping my breast . . . and I notice that h_ _is other arm is strapped across my pelvis, holding me down. Why? This hasn't gone that far yet._

_Why would he need to hold me down?_

_I try to struggle. To get the hell up and open my damn eyes. To kick my leg straight into whoever's balls are between the legs that are resting against mine. No, not resting against mine. Restraining mine._

Stop it!  _I try to yell._ Stop it!  _No words leave my mouth._   _I need to open my eyes, to see if this is okay or if it's . . . not._

_The person's hands leave me and their legs lift off of mine as my eyes finally fly open._

_I open my eyes and scream as I find not sweet blue eyes staring down at me, but a set of lips stretched into a smug smirk and cold onyx eyes, laughing at me._

_"Hello, lover."_

_\-----_

I wake up screaming.

My screams are more like animalistic shrieking. I don't recognize the screams that leave my mouth, they're so full of agony. Not pain, just agony. I feel as if my body's been stolen. I've had nightmares. I've had Revan break into my mind while I was sleeping, but that . . . Cauldron, that could never have happened,  _should_  never have happened. And it was horrible because it was real. He was really there in my mind, restraining me as he kissed his way down my body and his hand cupped my . . .

I hear feet slapping against the floor and my door slamming against the wall, cracking the wood of the wall, but I don't see anything. I don't feel anything. It feels like I'm unconscious. I heard that sometimes when you're unconscious you can still hear everything, just not feel or see anything. That's how I feel right now.

Until Felix wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head, his lips staying pressed against my hair. He holds me as I scream until my voice grows hoarse and I slip into sobs instead. Tears race down my face, one after another. My face is pressed against his bare chest.

When I finally stop, Felix pushes my wild hair away from my face and wipes away the wet streaks from my cheeks as I tremble against him. He presses a kiss to my forehead and whispers, "What happened, Stell?"

I shake my head I feel more tears forming. I push them back. I'm done crying. I stutter, "I - I had a - a dream."

Felix nods understandingly and encouragingly. "What kind of dream, Stella? A dream like the one you got with the note?"

I shake my head. "It wasn't a dream. Cauldron, it was a nightmare." I whisper so low I'm surprised that he hears me.

"Tell me about it, Stell."

I bite my lip and start to hold out my hand before snatching it back. I don't want to show him that. I don't want  _him_  to _see_  that. Cauldron, but can I even say it without turning into a river of tears?

"It - There was - " I stop with a huff.

He tightens his grip around me, "It's all right if you can't - "

I interject, "No, I can. It was a nightmare and  _he_  was there and - " I stop, considering a good choice of words for what happened in the dream.

But I don't have to continue my sentence, Felix understands completely and he stiffens around me. "He touched you, like really touched you? More than just a kiss?"

I nod.

Felix growls, "I'll kill him. Next time I see that dick, that absolute asshole, I'll kill him and kill him again for good measure."

I nod, not really caring about his plan of revenge. I'm just so tired. When was the last time I slept  peacefully? Without any bizarre wedding dreams or someone breaking into my head? Months. It's been months since I had a good dream and woke up feeling completely relaxed rather than stressed and anxious as fuck.

Felix notices my lack of interest in his rage and instead goes back to hugging me and comforting me and I snuggle closer, thanking the Cauldron for picking Felix to be my best friend. Out of everyone, Felix is the only one that's made for me.

After my heart stops racing and I start to drift off, I feel Felix trying to untangle himself from me while trying not to jostle me but I stop him with my hand wrapped around his wrist. He looks down at me with concern dotting those starry blue eyes.

"Stay, please." I mumble, already falling back to sleep. "Scare the bad dreams away for me."

Felix nods slightly and lies down with me, wrapping his arms around me as I scoot as close as possible, resting my head on his chest. I think I feel him kiss the top of my head as I drift into sleep, happily this time. Maybe with my personal protector lying next to me the nightmares will stay away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Feelings? Are you guys shipping Stella and Felix? How do you feel about Revan? I'd love to hear from y'all! Thanks for reading!


	7. Part 7

I wake up with a whisper of a smile on my face as the sun shines through the window, warming me and the bed. I nearly jump out of the bed when my eyes open to find Felix next to me but then I remember. The nightmare. Him comforting me. Me asking him to stay. And him . . . staying.

And I realize one small thing.

I slept peacefully with him beside me. More than peacefully. I slept happily and I woke up relaxed. I feel relaxed and calm, unlike every other morning when I wake up as high strung as a kite. Cauldron, I feel as though I just flew through the night sky alone with only the music from the Rainbow to guide me as I twirl in circles and loop-di-loops.

I watch Felix after these realizations come to me. He looks softer in his sleep, less like the teasing, sarcastic male that he usually is. He's smiling softly and his eyes flicker behind their lids. His curly hair stands up in weird spikes in a way that's - 

His eyes flick open and widen when they see me staring at him. There's something in them, almost like . . . disbelief, but they relax after a moment; I guess it took him a second to remember too.

"Did you get some sleep?" He asks in a sleepy tone that melts my insides. Definitely can't do this again, bad idea. No matter how much sleep I get out of it.

I nod with a meager smile. "Yeah, I actually feel rested for the first time in months."

His eyes widen again. "Months? You've been having those dreams for months?"

"Sort of." I mutter and shrug my shoulders. "I've been having dreams about a wedding for months. My wedding." I emphasize.

His hand clenches into a fist as I continue, "It's not a wedding I want. There are hundreds of people there and I'm in a gaudy dress the size of this room. And I'm walking down the aisle towards a male that I don't love. I can tell I don't love him, I don't know how since it's only a dream, but I can tell."

"The priestess says some stuff and asks us the whole spew where we're supposed to say I do and I freeze. I look around the room and I see someone. Someone who makes me decide. And I don't know what my decision is. But that person helps me choose." 

A thought suddenly crosses my mind. "It's not a mate dream." I say, knowing that someone might think of that as an explanation. "It's more of a vision, and I never remember the exact details so it's not a mate dream."

He looks at me with steady eyes and he strokes a comforting thumb down my cheek. "You've been having this dream for months and you didn't tell me about it. Why?"

I lift one shoulder in a half shrug. "Aedon told me it was probably just stress or something."

"Aedon's an idiot." He says as his eyes wander across the room.

I giggle. "I tell him that regularly."

He chuckles as his eyes find mine again.

Something shifts in those dark blue eyes. I notice, not for the first time, that we're really close. Really, really close. Our chests nearly touch when they rise as we breathe. Our heads are so close. A few inches apart and . . .

My bedroom door slams open and with it comes Aedon, strutting in and yelling, "Mom! Dad! I told you they were here, you filthy buggers!" Aedon gets a closer look at the disheveled bed. Our messy hair. I didn't notice before but our legs are tangled together. Our faces are inches apart. My shirt is hiked up to my hip - something that usually happens in my sleep - revealing my underwear and . . . Felix's hand is resting there.

Felix automatically swipes his hand away like he didn't notice it was there until Aedon walked in.

"Holy Cauldron, what did I interrupt?" Aedon yells and immediately calls out to our parents, "Go away! They were being intimate! We cannot interrupt this, the most important day of everyone's lives!" He drops to his knees and holds his arms out above him. "This is the miraculous day that everybody has been waiting for!" He bellows.

I throw the lamp from my bedside table at him.

"Ow! You little shit - "

Dad winnows in front of the bed and yells, "Intimate! You were being intimate!" He turns to a slightly scared, but mostly annoyed Felix and whisper-yells, "I'll rip your arms from their sockets!"

I roll my eyes at the theatrics in my family. Geesh, am I like this? How were Aedon and I birthed from the same womb? How is Dad the one people tell me I'm most like? They're both mega drama queens.

I address my dad with my calmest stare and say, "Father, we were not in the middle of sex, nor have we had sex at all over the course of the night. Or ever. Note that both our clothes remain completely intact." He narrows his eyes at my revealed hip and I sit up, pulling my shirt down. I should have done that earlier. I continue when I'm comfortable, noting that Felix has sat up as well though reluctantly, "We are simply in this bed together because - "

Aedon yells, "Because the holiest of things has happened, the blessed joining of Felix and Estelle at long last!"

"Someone shut him up or I will." I mutter impatiently.

Mom pops in and snaps her fingers just as Aedon opens his mouth. He starts blabbing his mouth but no words come out. He screams but nothing comes out. He looks at Mom and points at her with his best interpretation of Aunt Nesta, which really looks like he's extremely constipated.

I point to Mom, "Teach me that trick later, Cauldron knows I could use it." Aedon looks at Mom and shakes his head pleadingly.

I turn back to Dad and say, "As I was saying, before I was so  _rudely_  interrupted," I glare at Aedon who sticks his tongue out at me as I continue, "I had a dream last night, a nightmare actually, and Felix comforted me and stayed with me because I didn't want to be alone. Now, is that really something to condemn him for?" I ask in my sweetest 'daddy please' tone.

My father glares down at me, watching me for a sign of being untruthful. Then he turns to Felix who's shaking his head as if to keep from falling back to sleep. I remember seeing the red in his eyes the other day. It's a regular occurrence. Does he ever get any sleep? Are his nights plagued by nightmares as well?

My father sighs. "No, Cauldron knows how many times I needed help through some nightmares." He smiles at Mom who smiles back and nods as if they're having a private conversation, which they probably are.

Father turns back to me with concern in his eyes, "What was this nightmare about, little star?"

I freeze. Telling Felix wasn't easy. I didn't even have to say the words, he just knew. Telling my father about the nightmare that was forced on me about Revan holding me down as he kissed his way down my body and touched my . . . Cauldron, I would die. Dad would be horrified. I know enough about his time with Amarantha to know that he would hate himself if any of his children had experiences like that, even if they are just nightmares.

So I shake my head and smile sweetly, "I don't even really remember. It just shook me up, you know. Gave me a bit of a fright."

Dad nods, believing my lie. Felix knows better than to say anything about my lie, but Aedon . . . Aedon's eyes widen as he realizes that I just lied to Dad. Twin-sense. If he could speak right now - Don't think about it. He can't. I'll talk to him later.

Dad backs up and says, "Well, we came to get you. Sorry to cut your trip short, but we need you back at the House of Wind. Apparently, Azriel got some info on Androma and her son. Their whereabouts over the past few days and such."

I feel Felix's eyes on me as I exclaim, "Did he? That's great! We should go now. I want to hear everything." Cauldron, please let it not include me and Felix.

Felix stands and runs a hand through his hair, "If it's okay, sir, I'd like to hear what the Spymaster has to say as well."

My father glares, but submits to nodding when I narrow my eyes at him. "Yeah, sure. Let's go."

I stand and say, "You all go ahead of us, I need to change and Felix can't winnow back on his own."

Felix starts to protest, but I shoot him a 'shut the hell up' look and he immediately says, "She's right, I can't. 'Useless winnower' is what they call me." Cauldron, if Aedon doesn't give us up, Felix's acting will.

My father starts to say, "Well, I'd be happy to - "

"Daddy, you have enough on your hands. You go ahead. It'll only take us a few minutes."

Dad huffs before leaving with Mom and Aedon following. Aedon leaves while casting a suspicious glance at us. Gods, he's so paranoid, thinking that we're up to no good. 

Oh wait, we are up to no good.

As soon as I hear the front door shut and feel their power vanish from the surroundings, I turn to Felix and promptly panic, "What the flying fuck are we going to do? What if Az knows what we did? Oh, I know what! We're dead that's what, especially you! Dead. D - E - A - D! Dead."

Felix rolls his eyes and mutters, "The dramatic gene really does run in your family."

I glare at him.

He holds his hands up innocently. "I said nothing."

I stomp over to my dresser and pull out a pair of the usual Night Court pants and pull them on, nearly tripping over myself as I do. I grab a loose shirt and a bra out of the top drawer. I pull my other shirt over my head, baring my back. 

I completely forget that Felix is here until he mutters, "Shit." I look over my shoulder to find his eyes averted to the ground.

"What?" I ask annoyed as I clasp the bra around my breasts and tug the shirt on over it.

He replies, "I didn't know you weren't wearing a bra."

I narrow my eyes and say, "Have you ever slept in a bra? No? Well, it's not very comfortable. You wouldn't sleep in one either."

He holds up his hands again and says, "I wasn't complaining, I was just stating that I was unaware of the fact."

I sigh. "What's going to happen if Azriel tells them what happened yesterday?"

Felix purses his lips and shrugs. "We explain ourselves before winnowing and running away to live on another continent far, far away."

I nod. "So we're on the same page."

"Yup."

"Good."

"Yup."

"Let's go."

He nods, ready to head to our doom.

\-----

We winnow as close to the House of Wind as we can and fling our wings out at exactly the right moment to fly right onto the balcony. We walk in to find everyone staring at us. Is it just me or are Uncle Cass and Uncle Az flexing their muscles? Why does every male in my family think I'm a pure little virgin about to be deflowered? That happened awhile back and they should really get over it.

Nesta glances up from her cup of steaming tea. "So you're finally here."

I smirk and walk over to the chair in front of hers, sliding into it and planting my bare feet up on the table in front of her face. She sneers and leaves her spot open for Cassian who dumps himself into the seat, tickling my feet until I move them.

I drop them into the lap of the person sitting next to me. That person just happens to be Felix. He doesn't seem to care though, he doesn't really even notice.

Cassian sits up and leans forward. "You shouldn't have taken him to the cabin, it's always the first place they check. You should have taken him somewhere a little more vague. Like that palace above the Hewn City. No one's there during this season and Rhys doesn't really care for it therefore - "

My dad interrupts him, "Please stop giving my daughter ideas, Cassian."

I roll my eyes. "Honestly, we were just camping."

Aedon retorts, "Camping in a cabin."

I raise a brow, pretending to be the petty princess everybody expects me to be. "Is that not how we're suppose to camp?"

Nesta smiles while Uncle Cass leans forward again. "The stories I could tell you, little girl."

"Can we please start this meeting?" My mother requests. "I'm tired after the  _annoying_  and  _early_  wake up call we had this morning." Both my parents glare at Uncle Cassian. 

Uncle Cass grumbles, "I swear there was a bee."

Aunt Nesta laughs suspiciously.

Uncle Cassian jumps out of his chair. "What did you do, you wicked woman?" He yells.

Aunt Nesta glares and opens her mouth to say something when my mom blurts out, "Okay, kids, it's Azriel's turn on the floor. Give him a round of applause and please remember to be  _silent_  while other children are talking."

Cass actually claps and Uncle Az nods to him, "Thank you, Cass. So I sent some of my shadows to watch the royals' every move. And it was mostly just them sitting around their castle. Drinking and eating, with a little partying. Mostly."

My father leans forward. "Mostly?"

"They left the castle yesterday around midday with hundreds of their winged warriors . . . " Felix's hand finds my foot in his lap and tightens around it.

My mother prompts Azriel to continue, "And where did they go?"

"Under the Mountain." Aedon gasps but everyone else is dead silent. "They went Under the Mountain."

My dad's brow furrows. "What reason could they possible have to go there?"

My mother mumbles, "Maybe they wanted the dead bitch's bones."

So those  _were_  Amarantha's bones. Bitch deserved it.

Azriel shakes his head. "I don't think so, they didn't carry any bones back out."

Aunt Nesta's eyes narrow. "Then what happened in there."

Az shrugs. "I am unsure."

Aedon glances at Felix and I, noting our lack of input to the conversation, and speaks into my mind,  _What aren't you telling us?_

 _Nothing._ I immediately say back.

Aedon's eyes narrow,  _Then you won't mind telling Dad that. Especially after I tell him that you lied to him earlier and that you're lying right now. It won't help that you and Felix left around midday yesterday just like the Hyberns._

I sigh on the inside while on the outside I meet his eyes from across the table and shake my head ever so slightly,  _I'll tell you after the meeting just don't mention it to Dad. I don't know how or if I should tell him yet._

_You aren't sure about Dad, but you told Felix?_

_It's Felix. He listens to my opinion rather than shutting me down and trying to keep me safe._

_You have him wrapped around that little finger of yours so tightly that he couldn't find his way off of it if he tried._

_Aedon, stop it. Seriously._

Aedon rolls his eyes at me and turns back to the last of the conversation, "Keep us informed if  you find out anything about what happened down there." My father says.

Uncle Az nods. "Of course."

 _Follow us to the waterfall._ I send to Aedon.

He nods reluctantly.

\-----

"So, what's the big secret?" Aedon demands when we land on the soft green grass of the forest. The sounds of the waterfall rushing behind us comforts me and relieves me of some stress.

The waterfall used to be our hangout place. Aedon and I would practice our magic and flight here. Now it's our secret sex spot. If our family is hanging around both the townhouse and the House of Wind and we can't go to our partner's house then we come here and get banged in the cave behind the fall where an old mattress and lots of blankets as well as candles can be found. 

Well, Aedon does. I don't like the idea of having sex in the same place as my brother. It even sounds gross.

I glance around, checking for any of Azriel's shadows, before I say, "You need to promise not to tell anyone."

Aedon shakes his head and stomps over to me, looking down at me from where he stands. "I'll make that promise after I hear what you tell me. What did you do? Did you make a deal behind my back? Behind our family's back? Where's the tattoo, huh?"

Felix glares at Aedon and snarls, "Back off."

"Don't tell me what to do, Felix. This is a family matter." Aedon turns a smirk on Felix and says, "And you're not part of this family, are you?"

"Enough!" I snap as steam rises from a pile of dead leaves nearby. "Aedon, promise me, as your twin sister, that you will not tell anybody about what I'm going to tell you." I look into his eyes, holding his glare and pleading with him, "Promise me."

He stares down at me, not budging, for a minute, maybe two, before sighing, "Fine, but you will tell me every last detail of what happened from the time you left yesterday to the time we found you this morning, including that nightmare of yours. Deal?"

I nod. "Deal."

Aedon looks down at me with a single eyebrow raised, waiting. So I launch into the story of what happened yesterday. I tell him every single detail. I don't even leave out how I felt when Revan's eyes grazed my skin or how the queen's cackle made me want to vomit. He tenses up every once in awhile, especially when I tell him about the dreams; I leave out the dream from last night though. I can't force myself to talk about it. 

By the time the story's over it's noon and we're sitting in the grass picking at it.

When I finish speaking, Aedon looks at me for a long time, watching me for some reason, before saying, "So basically, you decided to have a little luncheon with our enemies who want to put you into an arranged marriage with only Felix as back up and they made some comments you didn't like and you left with a bad temper and the knowledge that just maybe they have some creatures from The Prison in the their army. Correct?"

I nod. "Pretty on point, except we didn't actually get any lunch."

Aedon stares at me for a second before dramatically saying, "Oh, woe is me, you didn't get lunch when you went to a meeting with your enemy! The horror!"

I glare at him. "That was uncalled for, right there. Very uncalled for."

Aedon shrugs and asks, "So what's your plan? Why aren't you telling, Dad?"

I want to bite my tongue and keep quiet, but Aedon's in this now. If I don't tell him, he'll go straight to Mom and it won't work. "I want to go see for myself." Felix's eyes are on my back. He hasn't heard this part yet. I was going to discuss it with him today, looks like now is the perfect time. "I want to go to The Prison and search for the missing creatures, any missing creatures."

Aedon shakes his head. "How the hell do you think you're going to manage that? And when?"

"Tomorrow."

Aedon shakes his head. "That's a stupid plan. Tomorrow, during the celebrations?"

I nod. Tomorrow, the Heart Festival where are all the couples dance around the streets of Velaris to romantic music and spend all day kissing each other and eating chocolates. It's a stupid holiday, considering every year I end up sitting alone in the library reading a romance book and eating chocolates that I bought for myself.

"Yeah, why not? Everybody will be distracted so it will be easy to slip away and it's not like people are used to seeing me at the celebrations."

"Let me guess, Felix is going with you." Aedon insinuates.

I shrug. "Only if he wants to."

"Like I have a date for the Heart Festival." Felix says sarcastically from behind me. Well, he did have a date last year, so I would be in the clear to assume that he would have one this year.

Aedon rolls his eyes, leans closer to me, and jests, "If you two keep sneaking away, people are really going to start believing that you're having a secret love affair."

I shove him away with my elbow as I say, "You are the one fanning the flames of that gossip, you bumblebee."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, looking forward to hearing from you all! Have a happy and safe New Years!


	8. Part 8

The point of the Heart Festival is to make everyone feel loved. At least that's what my father says, but he's not the one who normally sits alone and watches everybody else be in love and happy; he's the one who spends nearly all day in his room with the person he loves. 

The crowd's already gathering outside and this year I'll be joining them.

Felix and I plan to head out into the festival around noon. We'll disappear in the crowd and winnow to The Prison. Nobody will know anything is happening and we'll have our chance to inspect The Prison without getting caught by my family. My father has been watching me even more carefully since yesterday. He looks almost cautious. It's like he knows I'm lying to him.

I glance at the clock on the side table near my chair and note that it's only eleven. I sigh as I turn back to my romance book about a forbidden love between a High Fae and a human. I snort as I read it, comparing it to my parent's love story; it's an obvious retelling of the tale that will be told throughout the ages.

The clock soon strikes halfway to twelve. I jump out of my chair and hurry back to my bedroom. It's time to get ready. I shrug off my satin robe and pull on the red pants and matching top that I thought would be appropriate for the Heart Festival, most of the females wear red. I don't know why, I've never thought of red as a particularly romantic color- it's the color of blood, revenge, hate - but whatever. My opinion isn't really valuable.

I'm finishing a braid when a knock on my balcony's door startles me. I glance over and find Felix standing there with his wings out. I gesture for him to come in and he quietly opens the door before sliding through the opening.

"I think your uncles are trying to kill me."

I roll my eyes. Of course they are. "Just ignore them. They'll go away eventually."

"That's what you say," He says as he casts a doubtful glance out the window, "they're not trying to kill you."

I sigh. "They're not trying to kill you. They're trying to scare you. They've done this to Aedon's boyfriends before."

"But I'm not your boyfriend." He objects.

I shrug. "To them you're close enough."

Felix glares at me before looking over my outfit. "You're wearing that to climb up a mountain?"

I turn completely towards him, placing my hands on my hips, as I say, "Trust me, I can handle it."

He fixes me with a 'no duh' look and says, "Everybody knows you can handle anything, but do you really want to climb up a mountain in those shoes?"

I hold out my foot and twist it around, examining the shoe. "I think they look rather nice. Don't you agree, Noctis?" Noctis barks in agreement from her spot on my bed.

Felix shakes his head at the dog. "She doesn't even wear shoes, she can't decide whether the shoes are compatible for mountain climbing or not."

I huff, looking at the small clock next to my bed, and ask, "Shouldn't we be going now?"

\-----

Walking through the celebrations in the city, I watch as people dance to fluffy love songs. Males feed females little chocolates and shops are filled with heart-shaped cakes and cookies. Artists paint portraits of couples, or of just their lovers. Couples walk down the street while holding hands and whispering in each other's ears.

"This is ridiculous." I mutter as I watch my surroundings.

Felix glances at me and says, "You only find it ridiculous because you've never actually celebrated it."

I roll my eyes and demand, "Who would I share it with? Noctis?"

Felix shuffles away from a drunken male and his laughing girlfriend as he replies, "You've had lovers before."

"I've only tried to date two guys." I've slept with more than two, but they were one night stands that are never happening again. They were the hugest of huge mistakes.

"Yeah, what happened to them?" He asks, though he clearly doesn't care.

I shrug, not knowing how to describe the reason why I broke it off with them. It wasn't because they did anything. They didn't ruin the relationships. They thought everything was fine, but it wasn't. The relationships were missing something. A spark. A flame. A raging fire. Passion. Passion was lacking. Not from them, but from me. I wasn't passionate about the males.

I answer simply, "There was something missing."

He nods, though I can tell from the crease between his brows that he wants to know more. We keep walking for a while until we're in the thick of the crowd. We glance at each other before winnowing as close to The Prison as we can get. The bottom of the mountain. Woo hoo.

"Ready for a climb?" Felix asks.

I nod. "As ready as I'll ever be."

And so we start our climb to the top.

\-----

I climb in front of Felix with him a only a few steps behind me. I'm sort of climbing fast just to beat him, but also because I want to get in there and see for myself. I want to know if anyone's missing. I need to see if anyone's missing.

We're nearly to the top when I stumble on some loose rocks and lose my footing, falling backwards into Felix who barely catches me.

Felix sets me on my feet and looks directly at my face. "Did you get any sleep last night?" He asks with concern.

I shrug before shaking my head. "I couldn't. I was so terrified of having another nightmare. Every time I started to feel myself roll into sleep my heart started pounding and kept me awake until I just gave up and slipped out of my room. I flew all night."

Felix shakes his head and helps me climb up a particularly nasty rock. "You need to sleep. You can't be doing this to yourself, it's not healthy."

"You say that when some maniac is somehow managing to get past your carefully crafted mental walls and filling your sleep with nightmares." I reply quietly.

He doesn't say anything, but I can feel him watching me cautiously as we climb up the rocky surface of the mountain. We make it to the gate and I hold out my hand, "We need to hold hands. The Prison is dark and I don't want you getting lost."

He places his hand in mine and squeezes. "How are we going to know?" I look at him with a brow raised and he clarifies, "Which prisoners are missing? What makes them dangerous? If any are missing at all."

I laugh softly to myself. "Oh, that's easy. When I was little, before I met you, I was obsessed with this place. I never knew why, but something about it was awing to me. I studied everything. I know about every single creature in this place. I'll know."

He nods, but glances uneasily at the gate. "And how long do you think this will take?"

I shrug. "I don't know. Awhile." I glance at him out of the corner of my eye as I tease, "I sure hope you don't have a date planned for tonight."

"Nah," he shakes his head. "I'd much rather spend my time in The Prison than with a date."

"Well then we should probably get to it."

He nods and we step through the gate and into the darkness.

"So can I ask you something?"

"You know the rule, right?" I ask as I step towards the first cell and light my hand up just enough to see inside. The creature inside scuttles into the corner.

"What rule?" Felix replies.

"Don't talk about something you don't want them to know about, so if it's something important or personal don't ask." I explain as I check another couple cells, finding nothing amiss.

"Oh, well it's not something too important or personal; at least, I don't think it is." He says almost absentmindedly. "I was just wondering what you were planning on doing if you find out that they were telling the truth. About the prisoners. Do you have a plan?"

The glow in my hand brightens as I look into a cell and find nothing. The glow brightens until it illuminates the pathway in front of us and the cell that I was looking into.

The cell that is currently empty.

"Looks like I'll have to come up with a plan now." I mutter as I realize that we might be in more trouble than we thought.

\-----

We exit The Prison with our hands glued tightly together and glance at each other cautiously. We scoured the whole place and we found three creatures gone. If my guesses are correct then those three are the most dangerous that The Prison held after the Bone Carver was lost. Three. Three of the most dangerous creatures The Prison had. And now they're all in the hands of an evil queen of unknown power who wants me to marry her son otherwise she'll wage war on my people. Great. That's spectacular. 

I sigh and sit down on a nearby rock. My head finds its way into my hands and thoughts whirl around my brain as I try to figure out what to do. What should I do? I can't marry him. I won't be forced into a loveless marriage. I can't. But I also can't let anybody die for my selfish reasons.

I jump as Felix's hand lands on my shoulder and he squeezes tightly. "It's going to be alright, Stell."

I shake my head. "No, it's not." I lower my hands and lift my head. "How is this going to be alright? I don't know what to do, Felix."

"Is marrying him something you can see yourself being okay with?" He asks with a note of tension in his voice.

I shake my head. "No. Never."

Felix grabs my hand and says, "Then it's not an option. Cross it off your list."

"But what if it's the only way?"

Felix kneels in front of me and flicks a loose strand of hair away from my eyes. "If you're not happy about it, then it's not the right choice."

I squeeze his hand. "I need to think about this. Give me the night." I plead, knowing that what he really wants is to tell my family and lift the weight away from my shoulders. "We'll tell them in the morning."

He nods and stands, pulling me along with him. "In the meantime, we should probably start climbing down this hill so we can get back to Velaris."

\-----

Felix leaves me in my room after we winnow back to the townhouse. He's probably going to go spend the rest of the night alone at his house. He didn't seem all that into the Heart Festival this year. I wonder what's changed.

I pace around my room, trying to decide what to do. A course of action would be great. What can I do? My eyes involuntarily drift to my bed. 

A confrontation. He has been getting into my head while I sleep and I've just let him. Sure, I've pushed him out, but I never tried to use it against him. Get information from him.

I find myself throwing off my clothes and pulling on an old shirt that I stole from Aedon because it was comfortable. I crawl under my covers and Noctis lies down next to me, snuggling against me. 

My fear has been keeping me up when I try to fall asleep, but not tonight. Tonight, I'm ready to fall asleep. I need to fall asleep. I pushing myself into sleep's dark caress, wishing for a dream that's invaded by Hybern's prince. I am going to get myself some answers.

Tonight, I am  _not_  afraid.

\-----

_"Hello, lover." Revan's silvered voice says as he licks his way down my neck. "I've missed you. Why didn't I see you last night?"_

_I turn in his arms and stare into eyes that are level with mine. "Maybe I didn't want your tongue against my neck."_

_Revan smirks and lifts his hand to trace his fingers down the wet_ _trail that his tongue created on my neck. "But it's such a pretty little neck."_

_I take a step away from him and cross my arms over my chest, narrowing my eyes at him. "What do you want?"_

_He sighs. "Honestly, I've told you a hundred times. I want you to be my wife."_

_I purse my lips. "Is there some kind of compromise we can make?"_

_He shakes his head, his eyes glowing with lust. He disappears and reappears behind me. His arm wraps around my waist, holding me tight, and his lips whisper against my ear, "You and I both know how this is going to end. Might as well save us both some time and surrender."_

_I shove away from him and turn to face him. "I'm not ready to sell my soul just yet." I stare at the ground, thinking, for a moment before lifting my head again and pleading with him, "Give my family some time. Give_ me _some time."_

_He makes a tsking sound and stalks towards me. "Now why would I do that?"_

_I stride towards him and look him dead in_ _the eyes. I whisper in a deadly soft voice, "Because,_ lover _, you want me to marry you, don't you?" He nods. "Well, I won't even consider it unless you give me some time to think."_

_"To plan, you mean?"_

_"To think." I repeat._

_His eyes narrow and he says, "How about a compromise? Yes? I'll give you your time, a month of time in fact, but you'll have to stay with me in Hybern during that time."_

_"With you?" I ask._

_"In the palace."_

_I think this over. It could work. It's the end of the month now, I'd leave in two days. A month in Hybern would give me knowledge about their arsenal, their plans, how they work, and how we could defeat them. But . . . "I have two conditions."_

_He chuckles. "I'd be surprised if you didn't."_

_"Someone from the Night Court gets to stay with me." I say the first cautiously, waiting for his approval._

_He nods. "So long as they're not a part of the Inner Circle I'm okay with that. Next."_

_"I want to have until Starfall to decide." I say before explaining, "Starfall is only a week after the month ends. I'd like to spend that extra week with my family. The day after Starfall, you'll have your answer."_

_He narrows his eyes, considering, before he reluctantly nods and holds out his hand, "It's a bargain. Isn't there a tradition_ _in the Night Court where you get a tattoo for each bargain you make?" I nod. He smiles slyly. "Alright, let's do that. A reminder of the promise made here."_

_I grab his hand and shake it. "A bargain it is then." Sealing the deal, I feel a slight pain on my upper arm and I see him grimace slightly and look down at his._

_"Such fun, I've always wanted a tattoo."_

_With the bargain done, I drop his hand and snarl, "Congratulations, now get out of my head."_

_He leaves with a smirk on his face._

_\-----_

I wake up in the morning feeling rested and accomplished. My family's not going to like this though. Not one bit. I look over to Noctis who's watching me with nervous eyes, "I'm so dead, girl."

She whines and licks my hand. I smile and stroke her head. "It'll be fine. I promise."

I wander over to my dresser and pull out a loose-fitting shirt. I toss my night shirt over my head and gasp as I see my new tattoo. A snake curling around the top of my bicep. It makes two circles around my arm. It's head is on the underside of my arm, it has it's forked tongue sticking out of it's mouth. 

I should have known that a bargain with him would give me something involving scales.

After getting ready I walk out of my room and downstairs to find Felix waiting in the living room with my family. He hasn't told them anything yet, but they know something's up. They look at me with mixtures of confusion and desperation clear on their faces.

"Hey, guys. What are you all doing? You look like somebody died." I try to tease but nobody laughs.

My father's eyes hold mine and he asks, "What's been going on these past few days? You need to tell us."

I nod, knowing that I have no other option but to tell them. "Luckily, I was planning on telling you today anyways." 

So I start my tale of the past few days. My dream and the note inviting me to go Under the Mountain. The trip Under the Mountain and what happened. How the dreams kept coming and how Felix and I went to The Prison and what we found inside. That's where I stop and let them all shoot out their opinions.

"How could you lie to us?" My mom asks.

Uncle Azriel asks, "How did my shadows not see you?"

But it's Father who's the maddest. But not at me. He turns to Felix. "How dare you! How dare you go along with her plans. You should have come to me at once! You shouldn't have followed her and encouraged her foolish plans!"

Felix defends himself, "She's an adult! You're planning on making her the High Lady after you two. Maybe you should put a little more faith in her! They weren't foolish plans! To learn as much as she can before telling you about these things." 

"Yeah, but she's not the High Lady yet." He turns to me as he continues, "You still answer to me. You could have been hurt." He glares at Felix as he yells, "She could have been killed!"

Felix growls, "I would have never let that happen."

My father starts to snarl something else when I snap. Darkness explodes throughout the room and everyone freezes as the logs in the fireplace roar to life with flames bursting from them, the only light in the now pitch black room. "Stop it!"

My mother uses her powers and brings light into the room, trying to extinguish my darkness, even that doesn't put a dent in my dark. "Estelle, that's enough."

I feel a hand on mine and I shove away the roaring flames and the darkness, stowing them into the little compartment I try to keep locked within myself. I look down and find the hand that was holding mine is Felix's.

"Thank you," I whisper to him alone before turning back to my parents, "I accept any punishment you want to give me, but it will have to be a short punishment. I leave in two days."

Felix turns to me and something in his eyes shatters. "What are you talking about, Stell?" I'm quiet for a moment, contemplating what I saw in his eyes, and he asks, "Stella, what did you do? Tell me you didn't say yes."

I shake my head, "Cauldron, you all think I'm incapable. Of course I didn't say yes. I did make a bargain though." I lift up my sleeve and show them the tattoo on my left arm. My parents glance at each other with frowns on their faces. "I'm to stay in Hybern for a month. In exchange, they're giving us until Starfall to give them an answer. We now have until Starfall to come up with a plan and you'll have a mole on the inside."

My father shakes his head. "Not alone. You will not go to that place alone." He looks down at his feet and says, "I forbid it."

It's my turn to look to the ground. "I was able to get permission to bring one companion." Everybody straightens up until I continue, "Just not somebody from the Inner Circle."

Aedon looks around the room and says, "So basically, you're going to take Felix."

"Only if he wants - "

"There's no way I'm letting you go alone, Stell. I'm in." I look up to find Felix smiling down at me.

 I nod thankfully and turn back to my parents. "I'm going to go pack. If you have questions or something you'd like to say . . . well, you know where to find me."

_\-- Two Days Later --_

I sigh as I put the last of my dresses in my suitcase. Aunt Morrigan made a list of clothes I should bring so I can wow Hybern with fashion, but this is just ridiculous; there's like four suitcases and a knapsack. None of the suitcases include my black as night leathers though. Those I'll be arriving in so I can look like a goddess of death. That was Dad's idea.

A knock on my door forces me to open it and face what today is. My departure.

My dad walks in and looks around shaking his head at the suitcases. "You know, little star, if you don't want to do this we can find a way out."

I shake my head. "It's not about want, Daddy. It's about need. I need to do this."

Darkness curls from him and I know that he's not okay with this on any level but he nods. "Alright." He pulls me into a tight hug and kisses the top of my head. "But if anyone puts their hands on you, especially unwanted, you cut them off."

I snort. "Did you really think I wouldn't?"

My mom knocks lightly before walking in. "I need a hug from my baby girl." She pulls me away from Dad and starts kissing all over the top of my head. "Don't let them drag you down."

I nod. "I've got it. Take off their hands and don't let them drag me down." I take a few steps back, knowing that if I don't put an end to their gushery right now I won't be leaving until next month. "I have to finish getting ready. I'll see you both downstairs."

They nod and reluctantly leave. I scrub a hand down my face as I realize that I won't have them to rely on for the next month. I've never been so alone in my life. The only person I'll be able to trust is Felix.

I swiftly finish dressing, tightening the straps on my leathers until they fit me like a glove. I then pull my hair up in a crown braid circling my head. I find my daggers lying strewn across my room and immediately put them all in their places. In my boots. In the secret pockets on my thighs. In the secret straps on the inside of my chest area. Two or three in my sleeves. And finally one large one on my side in full view. I also put a very large, very long sword on the other side, hanging from my hip.

With everything finished, I walk downstairs where my family waits around the room like they did two days ago when I told them I was going. The first one to rush over and pull me into a hug is Uncle Cass. He lifts my feet off the ground and clutches me tightly.

When he gently places me on my feet again, Uncle Az pulls me into a slight hug and whispers, "You'll be fine. Just kick some ass."

My aunts are next. All three of them tackle me and pull me against them, squeezing me until I can't breathe. "I love you guys, but killing me won't solve anything."

"What about me? Isn't it my turn?" Asks the smallest voice in the house. Little Amara. My darling cousin. She's eleven years old yet she looks so small compared to the giant Illyrians in our family.

"Of course." I winnow out of my aunts' hug and to Amara. I wrap my arms tightly around her and kiss her little head. "Don't worry, little one. If you be good while I'm gone, I'll dance with you at Starfall." I whisper and she nods. Honestly, I'll dance with her anyways. I glance at Noctis as she lies in the corner with her head covered by her paws. "Could you watch Noctis for me? She hates being alone and I can't take her with me."

Noctis whines from her corner. She's been mad at me for the last two days, angry that I'm leaving her. We've been together since I rescued her when I was twelve. The runt of her litter, she was left to wander through the wintry forests. I heard her crying and found her, bringing her home and raising her as mine. I hate to leave her, but Cauldron knows what they'd do to her if I step out of line. I can't see her in pain.

Amara nods. "Of course, Stella. I'll take real good care of her. She'll sleep in my bed and I'll slip her little strips of bacon and all the broccoli that Mom thinks I actually eat." She intended for her plans to be a whisper but Aunt Nesta's sharp ears hear it all.

Nesta inquires, "And just what else do you do with it?"

Amara's eyes widen and she runs out of my arms and over to Noctis who starts licking her face.

As soon as I'm free of her tiny arms, I have larger arms encircling me. Aedon. "Don't let that prince lay a hand on you, sis." 

"I won't."

"And get in some fights for me while you're there, eh?"

I nod. "Of course, little brother."

This time he doesn't argue as he releases me and walks back over to his corner.

I smile slightly and embrace my parents, wanting to let them know that I love them just once more before I leave. They wrap their arms around me and kiss my head as I feel tears sliding down my cheeks.

A knock on the door echoes through the house and I know that's it's time to let go. So I release them and step back, straightening my shoulders and wiping away my tears. I smile reluctantly and call out, "Have any visions for me, Aunt Elain?"

She smiles widely. "You're going to bring them to their knees."

"Good." I walk to the door and pause, turning around, I say, "Goodbye everyone."

Nobody says anything, but when I stretch out my powers I feel their love and sorrow at my departure. I sigh as I open the door to find Felix on the other side, dark circles under his eyes. Did he sleep last night? Cauldron knows I didn't.

"Are you ready to go?" He asks quietly.

I nod.

"Do you have any bags?"

"They'll be delivered after we arrive, courtesy of Uncle Az's shadows."

He looks behind me into the house as if sensing the grief inside and asks, "Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?"

I nod. "It's the only way, besides you'll be with me."

And with that he nods and holds out his hand, agreeing to letting me winnow us both to the castle of Hybern.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So don't feel pressured or anything, but I would really appreciate some comments. I want to know if you guys are liking this fic so far and I want to know what you don't like so I can make it better. I really don't want to disappoint you guys.


	9. Part 9

I glance around as we stride out of the darkness and into the great hall of Hybern's castle, noting that none of the people lining the halls have wings out. Where are all their winged guards today? The walls are of a dark stone that I don't recognize, but as I look closer I notice dark blue stains in different places. Fae blood. The floor under my feet is of the same stone as the walls but a dark red rug is rolled down the length of the floor to the throne. I saunter down to where Androma rests on her throne of bones and Revan stands to her right with a hand placed casually on the top of the throne.

I put a placid smile on my face as I walk all the way up to her and stand right in front of her. Again, she will not receive any curtsies from Felix and I.

She sits up with a smirk and looks me over, "Oh, you look like common ruffians."

I cross my arms over my chest, smiling as I notice the guards looking at my leathers and blades with narrowed eyes. Behind me, Felix is wearing matching leathers to mine. I bought them yesterday so we could match when we're here.

Revan speaks up in a lascivious voice, "I like the leathers, they're very tight."

"And tight they will stay." I say, warning him that if he so much as tries to loosen these he'll find himself facing the consequences.

"Of course they will, dear girl." Androma's serpent like voice assures me. "Now, do you have any bags that will need to be seen to?"

"They'll be arriving later today." I say.

"Ah, well if you find you are in need of anything you can always just ask," She gives me a serpentine smile as she adds, "we like to treat our guests well."

"I'm sure." I glance at the door where Sebastian waits, ready to escort us to our rooms which I'm sure are on opposite sides of the castle; odd that they're treating Sebastian more like a butler than a prince. I add, "I would like to ask that Felix and I have rooms next to each other."

Androma starts to say, "I'm afraid that's not possible - "

But I cut her off, "It would make me feel safer. If our rooms aren't next to each, then you'll find us sharing a room," I notice a spark of anger flitting around on her features so I take it a step further, "I wonder if the rooms have more than one bed?"

Androma and Revan share a glance. "Of course we'll be able to find you two rooms next to each." She raises an annoyed brow at me before asking, "Is there anything else you'd like to  _request_?"

I tilt my head to the side as if considering before I reply, "Well, I do like to find those little chocolates on my pillows, if that's possible."

I see a flicker of amusement on Sebastian's face, though his relatives don't seem to find my sass as amusing as he does. Androma sneers, "Of course." She turns to Sebastian and says, "Would you show them to their rooms now?"

Sebastian nods and inclines his head to us, encouraging us to follow him. He leads us out into a long hall made from the same stone as the throne room. He doesn't speak for a while as he leads us through multiple halls. When he does speak he warns us, "You should show more respect to my aunt. She can be very . . . cruel."

"I'm not scared of her." I declare as we stop in front of a set of two doors. Studying the prince, I find that he looks uncomfortable. He doesn't look ill or like his clothes don't fit him well, he looks uncomfortable with his surroundings; his shoulders are tight and there's a crease to his brow. Or maybe he's just uncomfortable with me.

"Then you are a fool." He whispers before waving at the door on the left and saying, "For Felix." And then to the one on the right, "And for you, my lady."

He starts to leave when I stop him with a hand on his elbow. "Why is it that the queen can get away with treating the rightful heir to Hybern's throne like her personal butler?"

Sebastian's eyes meet mine and he doesn't seem to want to look away, he seems to want to hold my gaze so he can impart some kind of warning to me.

After a moment, he whispers, "Because she has more power and less compassion than anyone in the world. Don't underestimate her, my lady."

With that, he leaves.

I try to forget his words as I open the door to my room and walk in.

My first thought when entering the room is that I need to check it for traps. I look under chairs and in the bolts of the doors. I carefully open each drawer and mess up my bed before remaking it. I check every single space for a trap, but don't find a single one.

When I'm fairly satisfied that there's nothing here, I step back and look around, actually noticing the style of the room for the first time. A canopied bed sits against one wall and is piled high with dark knitted covers. On the wall across from the bed is a large dresser with a mirror hanging above it. There's a balcony with vines hanging off it. A chair sits in the corner with a small shelf full of books next to it.

This looks like my room. This is exactly like my room back home. Even the colors. Everything is dark purple, blue, black, some dark forest green, a little bit of burgundy, a lot of silver. This is my room. How the hell did they manage to recreate my room? How the hell did they know what my room looks like?

I exit the room and rapidly knock on Felix's door. He opens it within moments and I leap into his room to find a broken down bed and a splintered dresser and that's it. "Did the dilapidated room scare you, princess?" Felix asks teasingly.

I shake my head. "My room doesn't look like this."

Felix sends a confused glance my way. "Then what's it look like?"

"Exactly like my room back home."

Felix shakes his head. "That's freaky. Your stalker just gets creepier every minute."

I sink down onto his bed and put my head in my hands. "I know. And he thinks that this shit's going to make me want him, but it's only freaking me out more."

Felix stares down at me with an unreadable expression before he grabs my hand and squeezes. "You know if he touches you all you need to do is tell me and he won't be able to anymore, right? He won't have hands, or a pulse, after I get done with him."

I snort. "If he touches me, I'll take care of it myself."

"If you don't want to though, I'm here."

I squeeze his hand and smile. "I know."

I stand and head for the door. "I should get back over there. In case my bags come."

\-----

I'm finishing the unpacking of my bags when there's a knock on my door. I feel out with my daemati abilities and discover that it's not Revan or Androma so I yell out, "Come in!" 

A young girl, about the same age as me, I think, walks in and curtsies at the door. I huff and say, "Please don't curtsy to me. Neither of us enjoys it."

She nods. "Yes, m'am." She has a lilting accent and I can tell that this is not her first language just from those few words.

I shake my head. "Don't call me m'am either. I hate it. Call me Stella, or Estelle if you want to be formal." She nods, but I can tell that m'am is going to be my name for her so I sigh and ask, "What's your name and what are you doing here?"

She lowers her head and stares at the floor. "I am Aoife, m'am. I am to be your handmaiden. I'll fetch you whatever you need. I'll help you bathe, dress, and I'll do your hair and makeup for you as well as clean your room and wash your belongings."

I shake my head. "I'll keep my room clean myself and I don't like other people touching my belongings, but you can help me with my hair and makeup as well as picking out my clothes if you wish. I like to dress and bathe myself. And if I need something, I want to know where it is so I can get it myself. I'm not going to use you like you're a slave or something."

The girl looks up for a second with an open mouth and I notice something before she lowers her head again. Her face isn't as slim as most Fae's faces. It's almost as if she's human. Her hands aren't slim and nimble either, or at least as slim and nimble as normal. If only I could see underneath her curtain of platinum hair, then I could know if her ears are pointed or rounded.

"What are you supposed to be doing now?" I ask.

She answers quietly, "Helping you prepare for dinner. Her majesty says that if you wear those leathers to her table then you can eat in your room and away from the civilized guests."

I snort. "What makes her think that's a punishment?"

Aoife's amber eyes widen like saucers. "You shouldn't speak so openly." The girl looks around suspiciously. "The queen has ears everywhere."

I smile. "Trust me, I want her to hear every single word I say."

Aoife shakes her head and heads for my closet. "Let me help you pick out an outfit, my lady." She rummages through. She mumbles, "These are all very . . . showy, my lady."

"I know." I say as I move to stand behind her. I point to one that I happen to think will make a great first impression to the court of Hybern. "This one."

Aoife nods. "If that is what you wish, my lady. It will look splendid on you."

She pulls out the outfit and watches me as I slowly pull off my leathers. I carefully fold them on my bed, making sure that they're properly put away before I shrug on the outfit that Aoife holds. It's a one-piece outfit with off the shoulder sleeves and long pants; the pants are tight on my legs and the bodice leaves nothing to imagination, a see-through lace train is connected as a skirt-like part of the outfit, trying to make the outfit more modest. And it is entirely black.

I put on shining black heels as Aoife gets out the makeup for my face. When I sit down, ready to be made over, I say, "Make me look fierce."

Aoife nods and gets to work, decorating my face and hair as artfully as Nuala and Cerridwen do. I wonder who she practiced on before me. "I think the effect would be better if you had your own wings out, m'am."

I shake my head. "I will not show them my wings." The people of this Court do not have the right, especially not the queen and her horrible offspring.

"As you wish, my lady." She brings out a tiara from one of my jewelry boxes. It's made from a dark metal and sapphires sparkle along each point. "Do you wish to wear this?"

I nod and she gently places it one my head.

She looks me over and nods though her gaze lingers on my ring. "Are you sure you wish to wear the ring? I mean, it matches of course, but his highness doesn't like it. He knows about its origin."

I blush at her comment. So Revan doesn't like the ring that Felix gave me. Interesting information. "If he doesn't like it, he'll have to ply it from my cold dead body."

Aoife nods. "Of course, my lady."

"Was someone sent over to fetch Felix?" I ask as I adjust a smudge of lipstick on my thick bottom lip.

"I do not know."

I nod and wave towards her. "You're dismissed if you wish to take the rest of the night off, though if you wish to stay I would enjoy the company when I return."

She shakes her head. "I need to be getting back to my station. I'm always needed after dinner." She bows to me before she leaves.

I look around my room and realize that I'm not missing anything so I walk out, gently closing the door behind me. I softly rap on Felix's door and he opens it. His eyes widen as he sees me. "Cauldron, you're going to shock the whole castle."

"Yeah, are you ready for dinner?"

Felix shakes his head. "I was told to stay in my room."

I snort. "That's not happening."

"I'm still in my leathers."

I roll my eyes at his reply and grab his hand, dragging him out of the room behind me. "Like I fucking care, Felix."

"Why do you always insist on breaking the rules?" He inquires with a concerned edge to his voice as he catches up to me and walks beside me.

"Because it's fun," I say cheekily with a wink.

We walk the rest of the way in silence, observing our surroundings, especially the surroundings that are tapestries depicting bloody deaths and corpses; this is such a loving and caring place. I've noticed that there are lots of windows, all different colors. Like the windows in temples, except these windows depict massacres instead of the Cauldron and other holy things.

When we enter the dining hall, everybody stops eating and talking and turns to stare at us. Some stare with hatred, others stare with awe, and others stare with lust. Androma stares with derision. I think she's finally understanding that I'm not going to listen to her rules.

I notice that there's an empty seat waiting for me across from Revan and next to Sebastian. I saunter over there and slide into the seat. I lean over to the guy next to me and purr into his ear, "Find another seat, now."

He immediately moves as I send a shiver of cold up his spine. I wave over to Felix who marches over and takes the now empty seat; if I have to have Sebastian on one side then I'll have Felix on the other, fair is fair. I smirk and look down at my food. "This looks absolutely delicious. I'm starving."

I stick my fork into the baked chicken in front of me and bring the greasy meat into my mouth. It's not as good as it looks, but it has potential with rosemary flavoring and a salty tinge to it. It's also pretty moist, at least it's not dry.

Androma sneers from her spot at the head of the table. "I thought I said not to wear your leathers to this table." She glares at Felix.

I shrug. "Poor Felix didn't receive the same message as me."

Androma snarls, "That doesn't mean that he can disgrace my table with those - "

That something from Under the Mountain that pushed against my mind, warning me, is here now, shoving against my mind and shouting for me to stop.

Too bad I've never been good at listening.

"White wine, really?" I say, cutting the queen off after I take a sip of the wine in front of me and scrunch my nose. "Red is more my style."

The queen loses her composure and slams a hand on the table, making most of the people at the table jump but only making me smile, "You need to learn some respect, child. Your elder and superior was speaking, you do not interrupt."

I slam my glass on the table, some wine sploshes over the side and drops onto the table, as I say, "Respect is earned, not given." I fork another piece of chicken and stick it in my mouth before adding, "Your majesty."

Nobody at the table laughs, but I can feel their amusement at their queen's embarrassment. And she _is_  embarrassed. Her face might not be red, but her neck is and she's looking around the room to see how many noticed our little dispute. This is how I want her to feel. I want her to see just how big of a mistake it is to try and cage me. 

You can't cage a wolf of the night.

I feel a foot rubbing up and down my leg and I glance at Felix to find him staring down at his plate and picking at his green beans; he's always hated green beans. My eyes move across the table to Revan who's staring at me with a lustful hunger that makes me nauseous. I send a burning flame creeping up his leg, not doing any damage but hot enough to scare him away. He shrieks and pulls his leg back, narrowing his eyes at me.

I'll not put up with his shit either.

The rest of the meal passes in silence. The queen doesn't speak to me, but if looks could kill . . . I'd be dead a million times over. Revan tries multiple times to touch me with his foot and every time I singe a few more hairs off his leg. Sebastian is unnervingly stiff and quiet, he doesn't seem like the boy that Lena told me about. Felix doesn't seem to care about anything that's happened, he's really intent on the chocolate cake they brought out earlier though so that's probably the reason. Chocolate cake is definitely more important than anything else that's happened at this table.

On our way back to our rooms, we walk silently until we reach our doors and Felix says, "You did really well tonight." He glances at me out of the corner of his eye. "Handling them, I mean."

I shrug. "I won't put up with you being treated as less than my equal. The next time she forgets to invite you to dinner, we're both staying in."

He smiles gratefully and picks up my hand, placing a gentle kiss on it. "And that is why you'll make an excellent High Lady to the Night Court."

He releases my hand and nods to me before entering his room, leaving me to wonder if I was just imagining the little tingle I felt where his lips touched my skin.


	10. Part 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for descriptive death and pain and kind of blood and a little beheading. Don't get too nervous because none of it is real but you'll still hate me.

The first week of being Hybern's honored guest went quietly. I thought there'd be more bloody brawls and such and such by this time, but it's been quiet. Androma has been glaring at me, but she hasn't done anything to earn my ire since the first dinner. Revan keeps trying to touch me as much as possible and I keep finding new ways to torture him for it.

My sleep hasn't improved, but I didn't think being here would help it; I've used the time that I was supposed to be sleeping to adventure around the castle, trying to find a war room or a library of some sort to find any information that could help my family and I make plans for when I deny the royals' request.

But I find nothing.

Today is different though. I can feel it. Something is going to happen today. I was told to wear something casual rather than the dresses that they've been preferring for me to wear. So I put on a pair of cotton pants and a stomach-showing shirt in the Night Court style. I slide my feet into a pair of casual slippers that softly caress my feet and pull my hair away from my face.

There's knocking on my door and I prepare myself for all the possible outcomes of today as I open the door to find Revan and Sebastian on the other side. Revan's black eyes slide down my frame, lingering on my revealed stomach, and he says, "Oh, I do love the Night Court fashion. So revealing."

Sebastian rolls his eyes and tries to be pleasant as he says, "You look nice, my lady."

"What's going to happen today?" I ask, ignoring Revan's lewd comment.

He shrugs. "I'm going to show you what you came here to see." He smirks and a strange look enters his eyes.

I roll my eyes. "If you think I came here to see your dick, be prepared to lose it."

Sebastian holds back a chuckle but Revan notices and glares at him before faking a laugh and saying, "Don't worry, your pretty little eyes are going to stay innocent for little while." Innocent my ass. "I'm showing you the creatures we stole from The Prison. You can feel their power for yourself and see what you think afterwards."

"Alright. I'll be bringing Felix along." I say and watch as he holds back a groan and a glower. He really hates Felix.

I knock on Felix's door and he automatically answers, "I'm coming. I just need to finish putting my boots on." He's pulling the boots to his leathers on each foot as he speaks.

Revan snickers. "A little too armored for what we're doing today, aren't you?"

Felix glares as he finishes with his boots and stands by me, slamming his door. "I'm never too armored when I'm guarding the heir." He doesn't call me Stell or Stella in front of anyone here. He won't even call me Estelle. It's always the heir or my lady.

We follow the princes through the halls until we're outside. The sky is grey though there are no clouds to be seen and the grass is a dingy green. The nature here seems to reflect its ruler. Sad and lifeless. We head towards three large black tents that I've seen from my balcony but never thought were the homes of the missing creatures. 

Revan smirks as he stretches an arm out towards them, "My mother keeps her _friends_  here. They are not to leave until we tell them too."

"Can people go in there?" I ask, eyeing the tents as a feeling of anxiety creeps across the my skin. Going in feels like a bad idea, but I need to know.

"Of course, how else do you think we feed them?" His lips stretch into a sly smile and I realize exactly what they feed them too. People. They feed them innocent people. I have to choke down my nausea.

"If I enter the tents, will I come back out?" I ask.

He nods. "Yes, they've been ordered not to kill  _you_." He sends a glare to Felix. If Felix goes in those tents, he'll definitely die.

I step forward, prepared to go in the first one, but Felix grabs my elbow and turns me back towards him. "You shouldn't go in there."

I place a hand on his and say, "I shouldn't, but I have to." I slip his hand off my elbow and say, "Don't worry. They won't kill me."

I step inside the first tent. 

As soon as I walk in an impenetrable fear creeps into me and I want to scream, but I'm frozen in place unable to open my mouth and let it out. I feel myself choking, frozen so I can't even breathe. I don't see a creature in here, but I feel them. Cauldron, do I feel them. It sneaks around me, patiently, watching as I choke and choke.

I don't die. Long after I should have died from no oxygen I still stand there choking painfully, my face turning blue. Tears streak down my face. And then I hear a sinister snicker and I stumble backwards as I'm released and I can feel myself breathing again. I suck in the sweet air and walk backwards out of the tent.

I make sure that there are no tears on my face as I face the crowd that's gathered to watch me show my courage against these beasts.

I will not let them see me break.

"You think that's terrifying?" I ask cockily. "You've obviously never seen my Aunt Nesta when somebody doesn't eat all their dinner."

Felix chuckles though Revan doesn't look at all amused by my indifference to his little pet monster. "Well, they do get scarier as you go."

"I'm sure they do."

His face turns red and I hold in a giggle even though I can feel my stomach protesting at the thought of going into another tent.

I go in anyways.

And nearly lose it at what I see. Piles of bones line the edges of the tent. Corpses with chunks of meat taken off them lie haphazardly around the tent.

The creature creeps along the tent, a vision of evil darkness and decay. I've never been afraid of the darkness before, but seeing the swirling darkness of the death that is this creature . . . I'm scared. Fear rakes up my back and anxiety crawls across my scalp. I feel as if hundreds of little bugs are squirming on my skin, biting, and I can't pull them off. Why can't I pull them off?

I feel tears fall down my face as an invisible hand caresses my cheek and slides down my neck. It rakes across my back with sharps claws; I feel the fabric of my shirt tearing. I try to shake it away, but it only sinks its claws farther into my back. I try to scream but nothing comes out of my mouth, not even a squeak, and then the clawed hand sinks into my back, splintering my spine apart.

Its hand pulls out of my back with my beating heart lying in it's palm.

I choke up blood and fall to my knees as I die and then it all fades away. The feeling of bugs crawling on my skin disappears as well as the blood and the tears in my shirt. It was all an illusion put together by the creature inside, but the memory of my death still remains.

I stumble out of the tent and shake my head. Felix and Sebastian start to make their way to me, ready to offer assistance, but I hold up a hand to stop them and put a wide smile on my face as I stare at Revan. "Is that the best you've got? I'll admit that one made me a little dizzy, but it's lousy."

Revan sputters at me. "You can't possible be so nonchalant after that." He points to the tent I just walked out of. "He makes you feel as if you are dying. He shows you the blood and everything. How can you be so calm after that?"

Felix keeps concerned eyes on me as I say, "The fear of dying is not one I have." It's not one I had at least. Now, it's probably going to add to my growing amount of nightmares.

"What's in the last tent? Another variation of dying?" I snort. "I'm shaking in my bones."

"It's your worst fear." Sebastian says in the quiet, deadly tone that I've come to realize is his staple tone.

"Well," I begin as I cast a glance at the tent, "so far, I face my worst nightmare every day." I quickly glance at Revan, the monster behind my nightmares, before adding, "I think I'll be okay."

"That's what you think." Sebastian mutters, making me wonder what happened in this tent to have him so freaked out.

I slide the curtain back and almost step away. The sheer power radiating from this tent repels me, I want to turn and run and never come back. Instead, I step in and let the curtain slide to a close.

I look around to find that I am not in a tent at all, but an arena. The ground is packed dirt with no grass growing and the walls stretch around me, taller than I can climb. Blood is splattered across the dirt and I notice that it's still wet. Fresh.

I hear a painful, familiar scream. I follow it, gasping as my eyes land on the source. Felix is on a creaking wooden dais. He's strapped onto a large table by rough ropes that cut into his skin, causing blood to drip down his back. I try to run up there to save him, but just like in the other tents I can't move.

A man works on him, slicing across tendons and on his wrists. He cries out painfully and I feel tears falling down my face and then suddenly Felix's wings are out and the man is reaching for a saw.

The bloodcurdling scream that comes out of Felix's mouth next is inhuman and so horrible that I fall to my knees and scream myself. A painful howl comes out of my mouth and I didn't even know I could make such a sound, but I continue to as the monster up on that stage slices through Felix's other wing. A heavy thump sounds across the arena as the wing hits the wooden deck and Felix screams again. I cry, begging, "Please stop! No more. Please."

And then the saw slices through something more vital than his wings and I'm not sure who screams, me or him. Though I guess it has to be me. It's so loud I'm surprised I don't shatter my own eardrums. His head flies down from his body and somehow thumps to a stop in front of my kneeling form.

"No." I shake my head and fall backwards. I can barely see past the tears that are streaming out of my eyes. "Cauldron no." I shake my head and try to lift my shaking hands. "No. I can't - "

_Felix_

Toeing the dull grass of the field, I wait for Stella to exit the last tent. I don't know what happened in the other two, I'm not sure I want to. She pretended to be nonchalant and cool about it to Revan and Sebastian, but I could see that dimness in her eyes. She wasn't as unaffected as she let on.

This tent is supposed to be worse.

What will she come out with? New nightmares? I can't bear to think of her getting any less sleep than she does. I can't bear to think about those ever-darkening circles under her steel blue eyes becoming darker.

I can't bear to see her plagued with any more than she already is.

That's why my heart nearly cracks to pieces when I hear a gut-wrenching scream from the tent. A gut-wrenching scream that I know is hers. It's animalistic, and so painful to even hear, but it's Stella.

I rush forward, ready to run in and pull her out, when Sebastian grabs my arm, holding me back. I struggle against him, barely listening as he yells, "If you go in there that monster will eat you alive before you have a chance to grab her."

How should I care? Why would I care? This is Stella we're talking about. I can't leave her alone to suffer. I can't let her be hurt. Even if it kills me, as long as she's alive and safe I'll die happy.

I almost shrug him off when he yells, "When she comes out of there, she's going to want you to comfort her, not me and not Revan. You." He makes me look at him as he starts to edge closer to the tent, "I will bring her out, and you will be here to pull her away from the darkness."

Then he runs into the tent, and brings my heart out with him.

_Stella_

I feel arms hook around me and drag me out of the tent. My head whips around, finding Sebastian staring down at me with something akin to concern. I don't care about him though. "Felix. Where's - where's Felix?"

Arms wrap around my back and hold me close. "I'm here, Stell. I'm here." 

I hear him, but I don't see him. I don't see him and I'm going crazy. I need to know he's alright. I need to - He twists me around in his arms.

Cauldron, his head is there. His head is attached to his neck and there's no blood. There's no blood dripping down his wrists or down his neck. There's no blood.

I cup his face in my trembling hands. Sniffling as I see that his head is still attached to his body. Thank the Cauldron. Thank the Mother. Thank everything. "I'm here, Stella."

"Mother above, Stell. Your hands are freezing." He cups them in his own and I fall against him, shaking and crying, unable to do anything else. He drops my hands to wrap his arms around me.

I tremble as I remember one vital thing from inside that tent. "Your wings - your wings," I stutter out, going back into full panic mode. "Where are you wings? Are your wings okay?"

I keep asking the same questions until he shushes me and whispers, "Of course they're okay, starshine." I quiet down at the old nickname. He hasn't used that nickname in years. I didn't think I'd ever hear him use it again.

I feel his arms tighten around me as he looks over at Revan and Sebastian. "What the fuck did you do to her? What the fuck happened in there?" 

Revan shrugs haughtily. "Her worst nightmare." He rolls his eyes as if my terror annoys him. "Apparently her worst nightmare is losing you," He looks at me and raises an eyebrow. "Am I correct?"

I nod and hold out my hand for Felix, nodding for him to take it so I can show him what happened even though I don't think I can handle reliving it. Felix takes my hand and clutches it in his own, agreeing to me getting into his head. I close my eyes and send him the dream or vision or whatever it was that thing showed me.

When I'm done, Felix drops my hand and lets go of me altogether. He stands up and walks over to Revan. I don't see the punch, but I'm pretty sure everybody within a mile radius can hear as Felix's fist collides with Revan's face. Revan falls backwards, clutching his face, and guards run over but I send up a wall of flames between them and their beloved prince. Even in my terror-ruined state, my powers are strong enough to do that with little-to-no focus.

Sebastian does nothing to help his cousin.

"How could you do that to her?" Felix pulls Revan up by the collar of his shirt and yells, "She has enough nightmares as it is, thanks to you, and now you add another. You fucking sadistic bastard!" 

Felix goes in for another punch, but I send darkness curling between them. One punch wasn't bad, but two and Androma could have reason to call for his execution and I don't feel like fighting her right now. 

"Felix, just get me out of here," I whisper.

He turns back to me and nods, dropping Revan to his feet. "You're lucky I listen to her, otherwise you'd be spread like fine powder across this field."

He strides over to me and picks me up in his arms, not trusting me to walk on my own. "Let's get you back to your room, okay?"

I nod and he starts the walk to my room.

\-----

We got to my room with hardly any interference. About halfway on our way here, Sebastian caught up to us and asked if I was okay but Felix only snarled, sending him away.

Now we're in my room and Felix is gently depositing me on my bed. He pulls the shoes off my feet and pulls the covers of my bed up over me, tucking them in around me. He starts to slip out of the room, thinking I'm asleep, but I whine in protest. I need someone next to me right now. I need someone I . . .

He walks back over and slips into the bed next to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Thank you." I whisper. He nods and holds me tighter.

"Get some sleep, you need it." He whispers and rests his head next to mine. His eyes closing too. Maybe I'm not the only one unable to sleep without the other.

\-----

My door slams open, smacking the wall with such force that the castle itself trembles. Androma walks in with a flaming face and tight lips. "How dare you! You little street rat!" Felix sits up next to me, guarding me with his body, as the queen continues her tirade, "How dare you hit a royal prince!"

She then points a sharp nail at me. "And you! You little whore! Sleeping with a half-breed, lowborn bastard while your betrothed is injured! I've never seen the likes."

After what feels like hours of the best rest I've had in weeks, I feel rejuvenated enough to say, "Oh, put a cork in it, will ya? You're as dramatic as Aedon." I roll my eyes, realizing that she probably doesn't even know my brother's name, and say, "It's not like he broke his arm or something, he was punched in the face. He'll get over it." 

"Do you know how many times I've been punched in the face?" I ask rhetorically before adding, "Someone probably should've spanked him a few times when he was a child if his attitude is anything to show for how he was disciplined." Normally, I don't believe in children being disciplined through force, but I think Revan could have definitely used it.

"And he's not my betrothed either. Would you get the hell out of my room? I'd like to go back to sleep."

She starts striding towards me with a raised hand, "You insolent little - "

Felix snarls, "I suggest you stop where you are or you'll find yourself without a hand."

"You bastard, this is my home." She points to herself. "How dare you threaten me in my home."

"How dare you wake up your honored guests from their nap." I say dully.

She sputters and steps forwards but then sighs and breathes in deeply before walking out of the room, heels clicking on the stone floor as she slams the door shut behind her.

With her gone, I collapse back on the bed, ready to fall back to sleep. "Are you feeling better?" Felix asks, still sitting up next to me.

I raise myself up on my elbow and nod. "A little. Actually sleeping for once felt amazing." I relish in the feeling of my sleep-rested bones and even the sleepy taste in my mouth that I normally hate.

"Good, that's really good." He doesn't lie back down though. He seems distant.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask as I sit up fully and rest a hand on his elbow.

"Why is your worst nightmare me dying? Shouldn't it be your mother or father? Or Aedon? Why me?" He's looking at me with tight lips, searching for a serious answer that I'm not sure I have.

I shrug, "I don't know, I didn't even know it was my worst nightmare until today." I always thought my worst fear was losing control, not being able to keep my magic contained and unwillingly hurting someone.

"C'mon, Stell." He looks at me with serious blue eyes and I know that I'm either in trouble or he's in a bad mood. I'm going with both. "Why would me dying be so terrible that you screamed loud enough to scare half the males on that field?"

I shake my head. "I don't know! Because you're my best friend and I trust you with my life and you always believe in me and you keep me calm and . . . " I suck in my breath as I realize I'm rambling and I go back to today when I tried to scream away a broken heart. "Because it was my fault."

He wraps an arm around my shoulder and stares down at me with a furrowed brow. "How was any of that your fault?"

"It wasn't just you dying, Felix. You saw that." I shake my head and close my eyes as tears threaten to fall. I have to choke back nausea as I continue, reliving that terrible nightmare as I speak, "The executioner was putting on a show. He was torturing you. He did all that extra stuff just to torture me. It was my fault that you died and . . . Cauldron, if you died and it was my fault I could never forgive myself. I would die and I wouldn't even care."

He pulls me closer against his side. "That's not going to happen, Stell. It won't."

"You promise?"

He kisses the top of my head and holds out his little finger. "I pinky promise."

I giggle as I twist my little finger around his. "Good."

I'm almost back in sleep's embrace when I realize that I haven't thanked him yet, for dragging me out of that tent. "Thank you, for dragging me out of the tent."

Felix looks over at me with a confused and pained expression. "I - I didn't, Stell."

I'm suddenly very alert. "Then who did?"

"Sebastian," Felix explains, "when you screamed I started to run in to grab you, but he thought the monster would devour me on sight and you'd just be left in there until it got annoyed with you so he pulled you out."

I have no idea what to say after that confession and Felix doesn't say anything else, but I ponder it as I fall back to sleep. What makes a prince - who is supposed to be as cruel as his aunt, according to Lena - help a female that he doesn't even know?

Compassion.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's what I meant by beheading and not being real and stuff. Y'all don't hate me, right? Um, how'd you like the tiny Felix pov I slipped in there?


	11. Part 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mentions of sexual assault and slavery

Aoife's little shriek echoes through the room as she walks in on Felix and I tangled up in the sheets. "Oh goodness. This is not proper, m'am. Not proper at all. His highness will be furious."

Felix and I look at each other and roll our eyes. I yawn as I sit up and stretch out my limbs. "Mother above, Aoife. You're acting like you caught us snogging it up without our knickers on."

Her eyes widen in horror and she whispers, "Have you been doing that?" Then she shakes her head and holds out a hand. "Never mind. Do not answer that, my lady."

"I can't sleep very well sometimes, Aoife." I nod towards Felix who's in the process of sitting up. "He helps me."

Aoife looks at me with sad eyes before shaking her head and clucking her tongue. "The queen will not be happy. Not one bit. And the prince - His highness will be heartbroken."

Kind of hard to be heartbroken when you don't have a heart.

I snort as I stand up and head over to the wardrobe where I keep a tin of breath mints. "They'll live." I pop a mint into my mouth and moan at the minty fresh taste that springs from it. I silently ask Felix if he wants one by holding them up and inclining my head to him and he nods. I throw him one and he catches it and pops it into his mouth.

Aoife watches all of this with wide eyes.

"What?"

She shakes her head, instead turning her eyes to the ground.

I roll my eyes and nod to Felix as he leaves the room without much of a goodbye. "That was a fast exit, I wonder if he's feeling all right."

"M'am, may I speak freely?" I nod. "I think Mr. Felix had a bit of a, uh, problem."

"Thank you, Aoife," I say slowly. That was so helpful.

"So is it dinnertime?" I ask to change the subject.

Aoife shakes her head and looks at me with wide eyes. "No, m'am. It's morning."

My own eyes widen as I bark, "What!" My head turns to stare out the glass doors of my balcony to find that she is in fact right. It's probably about seven in the morning. We slept from mid-afternoon yesterday all through the night. Cauldron, we were so sleep deprived that we missed dinner. Our favorite time of the day. 

"Prince Revan insisted I wake you an hour before breakfast so you could walk with him in the gardens to have time to . . . talk."

"Talk about what?" I already know what. About how my worst nightmare is about losing another male. He's going to have a field day about that. He's probably also going to flirt with me. 

Ugh.

"He did not say, my lady."

I nod as if that's an accurate answer. There's a slight tremble in her voice that tells me that's not all to the story. I watch her reach up and grab a dress out of my closet and her sleeve falls down just a bit. Just enough for me to see a hand print wrapping around her wrist. She quickly covers it up when I gasp but it's too late. I've seen it.

"Who did that to you, Aoife?" I fire burns in me as darkness races across the room, blotting out the light that shines through the windows.

She shakes her head.

"Who did that to you? I don't tolerate that kind of shit." I look at her as a tear rolls down her face. "I don't care if it was the queen herself. Tell me and I'll handle it."

"The prince." She whispers so low that I barely heard her, but I did hear and I immediately see red.

"Which one?" I ask, though I know. Cauldron, I know. Sebastian wouldn't do this. This reeks of Revan.

"Prince - Prince Revan, my lady."

"Why?"

"I resisted."

"Resisted what?" I grit my teeth as I clench my hands into fists, letting my nails slice into my palms to keep the magic under control.

"I can't."

I promised I wouldn't do this unless it was an absolute necessity to survival, but I'm going to do it anyways. I break into her mind and rummage through, finding the large part of her that's quaking in fear.

She's a slave. Slavery is illegal in Prythian and it's supposed to be illegal here too, but Hybern breaks the rules. Aoife is a human slave. Not just any slave though, she's a sex slave. For the mighty prince Revan himself. This poor girl. Images of all the things he's done to her race across my mind. What happens to her when she resists. 

I tear myself out of her mind. I look in the mirror to find my now completely grey eyes literally glowing with rage. My curtains are now fully engulfed in flames and any light in the room and drowned out by darkness. There are two things that I absolutely don't condone. Slavery and rape. Murder can sometimes be justified, self-defense and crap. Theft, if it's the only way you can pay your bills and feed your family then I don't care. 

But there is never and can never be an excuse for slavery and rape.

"You will be sleeping in my room from now on," I say to her in a stone cold voice, the only type of voice I can manage right now with this must anger threatening to burst through, "if he so much as looks at you funny again, you tell me and I  _will_  pluck out his eyes." She looks up at me with hope in her eyes. "And he will  _never_  touch you again."

I storm out of the room, not caring that I'm still in my clothes from yesterday. I use my magic to burn away those clothes and make my leathers appear on my body, something I rarely do except when I'm too impatient to dress. I stomp down the hall. Felix hears me and follows me, calling out to me, but I don't stop.

I storm down the hall. Burning the tapestries on their walls as I go. There's a storm brewing in me and I can't hold it back. Wind beats against the windows until they shatter, sending the shards clashing to the ground and smashing into a million shiny little pieces, letting in a chilling wind and cold rain that prickles my skin. The hall has turned icy as frost creeps up along the walls and the torches have gone out, engulfed by my darkness.

If they wanted a monster, they're about to get one.

The door to the dining hall slams open and I stride into the room, my eyes immediately landing on the prince. Sitting at the head table, laughing, he freezes and his face turns impossibly whiter when he sees me walking towards him. 

He should be scared of me.

As soon as I reach him, I slam him into the ground and shove the heel of my boot against his windpipe. "I just noticed a hand print on my handmaiden's wrist!" I shout. "You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

He shakes his head, but I grind my heel harder as I say, "That's funny, because when I searched her memories I found out that  _you_  are the one who gave it to her! Don't pretend to be innocent."

The queen is shouting from her throne, but I don't give flying fuck. I reach into her mind using my abilities and make her shut her Cauldron-damned mouth. I need silence when I do this, otherwise I'm just going to get angrier and more out of control.

Sebastian stands from his chair nearby and starts to walk over to me, "Estelle - " but I glare at him with eyes holding anger so fierce and fiery that he stops and doesn't say anything else.

"Finally, some quiet!" I seethe as I hear a small crack in Revan's neck. "You look at Aoife again, you lose your eyes. You touch her again, you lose your hands." I step off of him and lower myself onto him so I'm sitting, trapping him on the floor. I pull him up by his shirt so his face is right up to mine, his fearfully wide eyes meet mine just like I want. I want to see his fear as clearly as I feel it as I whisper, "And if I hear about you raping anybody else, I will cut off your dick and make you eat it."

I punch him, hearing a crunch as his nose breaks, before I drop him and step away from him, releasing the queen's mouth. I spit on Revan's groaning form as the queen walks towards us with narrowed eyes.

"How dare you - " She starts.

I cut her off, "Don't even finish that sentence, you hag. I'll do what I damn well please." She shuts her mouth, flabbergasted, and stares at me with wide eyes. "Slavery is illegal in Prythian _and_ Hybern, especially  _human_  slavery. The fact that you're practicing it is cause for war. Rape is another thing that's illegal in every  _civilized_  society. Slavery, especially sex slavery, is disgusting and abhorrent. For a queen to let such practices go on underneath her nose is hideous. You are an abomination to the world." I spit at her.

I turn back around to the rest of the room who all stare at me with wide fearful eyes. "If I find out that anyone in this room holds slaves, especially sex slaves, what happened to the prince is going to look like a picnic compared to what I'll do to you." I meet the eyes of one especially guilty looking man and sneer, "They won't be able to tell which body part is what once I'm done." I turn on my heel and stomp out of the room, setting the tables on fire as I leave.

\-----

"M'am, I'm afraid you may have made things worse," Aoife says as she strokes blush across my cheeks, "You should not have attacked the prince. It will only incite the queen's ire."

"The queen can shove it up her ass." I say and Aoife giggles. Only slightly, but she giggles.

"Still you should not have done that."

I roll my eyes and let her work on putting the gloss on my lips. "What are you preparing me for?"

"You have a fitting for a wedding dress today, m'am."

I cough. "What? A wedding dress fitting? We're not even betrothed."

"The queen wants one ready for when you say yes the day after Starfall that way the ceremony can take place that day, she's already made invitations."

"Mother above, she really is trying to kill me."

Aoife nods. "The only good that could come out of this match is you will make an excellent queen." She strokes a brush across my eyelids, darkening them to a silvery color. "You always stick up for the little people."

"The little people deserve to be stuck up for."

"It's especially sad if you marry Revan while you are in love with someone else." Aoife says slyly, peeking up from her lashes.

"What are you talking about?"

Aoife rolls her eyes. "It is obvious you love Mr. Felix, my lady. If I may say so, of course."

I chuckle. "Of course I love Felix, he's my best friend."

"Yes, but you are  _in_  love with Mr. Felix."

I snort. "What are you talking about?" I shake my head. "I am not in love with Felix."

"He keeps you from completely losing control of your powers, does he not?" She asks.

I take a moment before nodding.

"Your worst nightmare is losing him?"

"Well, yeah . . . "

"You only find peace in your dreams when you're sleeping next to him. You look at him like he's the sun to your moon. And he . . . well, he looks at you like you're the moon and the stars combined."

I do? He does?

"You two are best friends, and isn't it wonderful to be in love with your best friend?" Aoife asks with a sad twinge in her eyes.

"Have you ever been in love, Aoife?" I ask quietly.

She nods reluctantly. "It was before I was made a slave. She was my best friend. We'd known each other since we were babes."

"What happened?"

"I was forced into slavery and I haven't seen her since. I do not know if she was killed or if she just forgot about me." A tear streaks down her cheek and I reach up and grab her hand.

"How could she ever forget about you?"

Aoife smiles at me as I reach up and wipe away her tear. "I'm going to get you back home when I leave this place and you _will_ see your love again. I promise."

Aoife shakes her head. "That is too much, my lady. You have already done so much for me. I cannot ask for more."

"I'm not paying you to question my decisions," I joke as I stand, prepared to face this fitting. "I will not leave you behind."

"But you're not paying me at all," Aoife says with a scrunched face.

"Yes, I am," I say, "I decided to start paying you the moment I looked at your memories." Cauldron knows I have more than enough money to be able to pay Aoife for her time here working with me.

As I walk out the door I smile as I hear, "Thank you, Estelle." That's a start.

\-----

The dress is an atrocity. 

It is a horror to the world and if my poor father saw it he would cry and Aunt Mor would be blinded by its hideousness.

I don't care much about the bodice. It's plain. It's tight against my abdomen and chest and it laces up in the front; the fitter elbows me in the ribs and winks about that, "Something fun for the groom to work on, eh?" I feel like puking. The sleeves are long and lacy, not terrible.

It's the skirt I hate. It weighs like a million tons. It's bigger around than a herd of Illyrians. It seriously looks like I have a pond of taffeta instead of water surrounding me. And stitched into the skirt are little golden roses against the cream colored fabric. Puke.

I glance over the queen with an 'Are you for real?' expression. She only claps. "Voila. It is brilliant. Absolutely stunning. I love it. We'll take it." This must be her vengeance.

I roll my eyes and look around as she talks about the details. My eyes catch on a couple of decent gowns, nothing too fancy in this joint. Then they stop altogether on the dress that I would have chose if I had a choice.

Long-sleeved and bright white with the tiniest tint of blue, the dress is long and straight. It would conform tightly against the body, barely flaring out from just a few inches above the knees. A v-neck that's not too showy, but still nowhere near as proper as the atrocity I'm wearing. There are little triangular cut outs along the side of the dress, showing the space between the ribs and the hipbone but not  the stomach. From what I can tell, the lower back wouldn't be covered by fabric when it's worn. There are also little swirls of silver in random places around the dress. All in all, a very Night Courtish style gown in a very non-Night Court place.

The queen snaps me out of my daydream about being in that dress rather than this one by yelling, "Oh, come on, stupid girl. Help her with taking the dress off so we can get out of here."

I blink rapidly before helping the seamstress take the gown off. I put on the simple throw-on dress I wore here and follow the queen out of the store.


	12. Part 12

Dinner is awkward as fuck.

Everybody refuses to look me in the eye after my attack on the prince this morning. And nobody ever dared to look at Felix anyway. Nobody talks either. It is dead silent except for the sounds of the slurping of wine and the chomping of food.

The queen finally speaks when she finishes eating, "Everybody knows the punishment for the abuse of the prince. We have two Fae here today who have assaulted our prince, their host, in the most unspeakable fashion."

Oh, Cauldron. Can't I just enjoy one meal without being victimized by this woman's need to be in the spotlight? I let my fork clink against my plate as I drop my food to watch her performance. She points to Felix and I with a tortured face that makes her look constipated, "These two have come into our home and attacked our prince and they must be punished."

I huff. "Would you get it over with? I'm ready for dessert."

"They must compete in the Battle." The queen insists as her nostrils flare at my comment.

Everybody surrounding us cheers while Felix and I glance at each other narrowed eyes. "What's the Battle?" I call out.

Sebastian answers with a glower, "A fight to the death."

The queen rolls her eyes at his sour mood. "Now, Bashie, it won't be to the death this time. We can't have our guests dying on us, but they can be a little roughed up."

I hold in a laugh at the queen's nickname for Sebastian. Bashie.

"The Battle will be tomorrow. Everybody who wishes to compete better get a good night's rest." The queen says with a little smirk on her face.

\-----

After dessert, we don't stay to listen to the bard's music. Felix and I walk back to our rooms, contemplating the Battle. When we make it to our rooms, Felix starts to head into his but I stop him. "Stay with me, please. She said we need a good night's rest. That's not exactly my thing right now."

"What about Aoife? Isn't she staying in your room?"

"She can stay in yours. Anybody in their right mind would be scared to go after her after this morning."

Felix smirks. "You did quite a number on the prince." He chuckles. "It was hilarious and terrifying at the same time."

I shrug. "It was pent up anger and aggression given reason to manifest." I glance at his door. "So are you going to stay in my room or what?"

He nods. "I can't resist a good night of sleep."

I open the door to find Aoife right on the other side with a blush as red as a rose. "I wasn't listening in, I was just . . . polishing the door."

I nod. "Uh huh, well, you can finish polishing the door tomorrow, right?"

"Of course," Aoife nods and slyly says, "and I will stay in Mr. Felix's room tonight if you wish to stay together. I know that you sleep pleasantly that way, my lady."

"How considerate of you, Aoife." I say, though I see right through her touching act.

Felix adds, "And please, just call me Felix."

Aoife nods and says, "I hope you two sleep well."

She curtsies as she backs out the room, glancing between us. While Felix's back is turned she silently mouths to me, "Get some." before slipping out of the room completely. I anxiously wait while she's in the hall until I hear the door next door close and I relax, knowing that she's alright.

I turn back to Felix and he says, "Your maid is worse than Aedon."

"You noticed too." I giggle.

He sighs as he falls back on the bed. "I don't know why everybody thinks we're together like that."

My giggling ceases. "Ye - Yeah, I don't either." I sigh as I sit on the edge of the bed before I lie down completely and turn to face him. "It's just silly."

He brushes a stray curl away from my face. "We're best friends, they all just read too much into it."

I nod.

"And we don't have any chemistry whatsoever."

A tiny piece of my heart falls a bit, though I don't know why. I've never expected anything from Felix, never wanted anything other than friendship from him. I say, "I know, right? None."

He nods though there's something in his eyes . . . "I'm glad you agree."

"Same."

We both stare at each for a moment before I turn on my back and curl up into a ball. Despite having my own personal sleep vendor next to me, I don't get much sleep. I'm too busy thinking about that conversation, playing it back and forth through my mind.

One thing's for sure, I am absolutely not in love with Felix.

\-----

I wake up after what feels like only minutes of sleep to knocking on my door. "Who is it?" I yell out.

"It's me, my lady." I flick the door open with my magic and let Aoife come in.

Aoife walks in and heads for the closet. "We need to get out your leathers. Mr. Felix should go get his own on."

I look over to find him still asleep. I shake him by the shoulder and nothing happens. I shake him harder and he groans. I flick him in the temple and he sits upright.

"Ow!" He looks at me with narrowed eyes.

"Go get your leathers on, we're about to fight."

He sighs and winnows to his room rather than walking the few feet away. Lazy bum.

Aoife stares at me with concern and I raise a brow at her. "Forgive me, m'am, but you look like you did not sleep a wink. Did Mr. Felix not help?"

I shake my head. "My mind wandered around all night."

Aoife sits behind me and starts to braid my hair into the crown braid that she knows I like to wear with my leathers. It's much easier to fight when you don't have people trying to knock you off-balance by grabbing your hair, which is incredibly easy to do when you have hair as long as me. 

"What were you thinking about, my lady?"

"After you left the room last night, Felix and I talked and he . . . well, he basically admitted that he wasn't interested in me as anything more than a friend." I shake away the feelings that try to suck me dry like leeches and add, "So you see, you were wrong. He does not look at me like I'm the moon and the stars combined."

Aoife shakes her head. "That is simply not true. Sometimes males say things that they do not mean."

"Why?"

"Because they are very stupid and  _very_  stubborn." She sighs. "Females are so much easier to deal with."

Aoife finishes the braid and points to my leathers. "Now get ready. You must fight in the Battle."

"I know." I slide into my leathers and start concealing all my tiny throwing daggers. Aoife watches with impressed eyes. I finish with my long dagger and sword strapped to my belt.

"You have so many of those. Do you really think you'll need them all?"

I shrug. "Better safe than sorry. And if I run out of these then I have a whole other arsenal at my beck and call." I say and summon a flame in my hand before putting it out to tie up my boots.

\-----

The sun shines down on us, making sweat bead on my forehead. I'm convinced this uncharacteristically good weather is due to Androma's happiness at the idea of me being pummeled. Felix stands next to me, stiff as a board, preparing to fight his way through this.

We're standing in a fenced in arena about the size of the Rainbow. There's a maze with high walls and there's a mud pit in a corner along with plenty of other fun things to fight in. I'm not entirely sure if the lake all the way across the field has piranhas in it or not, but I'm pretty sure it does.

A crowd is gathered outside the fence, sitting on rows of seats and placing bets on the people they think are going to win. Going by the looks on their faces when they glance at us, Felix and I aren't the most popular bets. Thirty guys are lined up across from us, they have crow wings spread out behind them and menacing faces.

Felix and I glance at each. We agreed not to let out our wings. These imbeciles obviously have no idea what can happen to someone with just one little clip to the right spot on a wing. Little clips that I know how to make with exact precision.

I tap Felix's mental wall - he gave me permission to do this on the walk here - and he lets me in so I can say, _I think we should go to the maze._

I hear his thoughts as his response, _Let them kill each other off as they try to find us?_

_Exactly._

_Let's do it. We winnow there?_

I nod and grab his hand as the horn blows, signalling the beginning of the Battle. I surround us in darkness and we walk through it right into the middle of the maze. I drop his hand as the darkness clears. We can't see the crowd here, but they can probably guess that we're in here when they see that we're not anywhere else in the arena.

I hear a barbaric scream and ask, "What do you think's going on out there?"

"Probably murder."

I nod and slide down the wall behind me to sit with my head between my knees. "What are we doing here?"

"We assaulted the prince, remember?"

"No. What are we doing here, in Hybern?" I shake my head. "Why'd I make this stupid deal?"

Felix walks over and crouches in front of me. "Don't start doubting yourself. You did what you thought was best. And I think it was a good call. We're learning more and more about our enemy every day."

"We haven't learned anything useful," I say as I close my eyes, "Besides, I don't want to learn more. How can it possibly get worse? Every second that goes by I hate the prince more and more. I want to kill him and the queen." Ice crawls up my skin. "My powers are barely being kept in control."

Felix grabs my hands, clasping them in his. "But they will stay in control. I believe in you."

I open my eyes in time to see a sword swinging down towards Felix's back. I quickly send a wave of fire at the male swinging the sword. Felix turns towards the guy and watches as the man disintegrates into ashes.

"Thanks." 

"You're welcome."

Another male enters our little sanctuary and yells, running towards us with his sword drawn. I pull both my sword and my dagger out of my belt and run towards him. Our swords crash together with a clang.

"Looks like they found us." I call out.

Felix grunts as he fights off a fiend that came out of another part of the maze. "No kidding."

I kick the guy in front of me in the stomach, trying to knock him back a few steps. He does stumble a bit, giving me the opportunity to slice my sword through his thigh. I don't cut off his leg, but I do give him quite a little boo-boo. That's going to hurt. With him down on his knees, it's easy for me to slam the hilt of my sword on his head, knocking him out but not killing him.

I turn around to help Felix to find him standing over a downed male as well.

"Good job."

He nods. "You too."

"Where do you think all the female warriors are?" So far I've only seen males. "I mean, their ruler is a queen, you'd think it wouldn't be so unusual for them to have female warriors."

Felix shrugs. "Some people still don't think females are capable of bloodshed." He eyes the blood lining my sword. "Obviously they don't understand that the female of the species is  _always_  the most dangerous."

I smirk. "Obviously."

"So how'd your dress fitting go yesterday?" A male runs out of the maze's tunnel and Felix elbows him in the gut before knocking his hilt against the male's temple. "I don't believe you told me."

I snort. "It was absolutely hideous." I slice at a male that runs towards me, frightening him back a few steps, before I call out some darkness to bind his ankles and wrists, forcing him down on his knees. "My father would cry if he saw such a fashion tragedy on me."

Felix chuckles. "Your father would cry whether it was an ugly wedding dress or the most beautiful dress in the world. You getting married will be the worst day of his life."

"Even if I'm marrying my mate?" I ask, though at this point I seriously doubt that I even have a mate. I guess it did take Father over 500 years to find his mate, it could take me that long too.

"Especially if it's to your mate." Felix says as he knocks out another guy. "Tears of joy."

I snort and turn to look around the side of the tunnel I've started guarding, trying to spy any other males coming our way.

A groan of pain meets my ears as a phantom pain radiates down my spine. It's not my pain, so it has to be - I quickly spin back around to find a male pulling his sword out of Felix's back. A scream breaks from my lips as flames burst into being, burning down the maze and the male while melting his sword.

I run over to Felix and roll him onto his back so I can see his face.

"You're not leaving me." I shake my head as I pull up my sleeve and slice my dagger across my wrist, watching as blood flows out of the newly made wound. "Not now. Not ever." I mutter as I part his lips and place my wrist over his mouth, letting my blood slide down his throat.

From anyone else this would just be gross and unsanitary, but my blood heals. At least, it should according to Mother. I've only used the healing power once just to see if it actually worked. It worked then, it better work now.

Felix's face is pale and there's a pool of blood beneath us, but he sucks down my blood. He's still conscious. That's good. I pull my wrist away after a couple mouthfuls and put my fingers against his throat, feeling for his pulse. It feels steady. Thank the Cauldron.

Felix's eyes find mine as I loom over him and he croaks, "Did I just drink your blood?"

I nod and swipe away a tear.

"That's so gross. You gross, gross lady."

I giggle. He's fine. He's being a sarcastic little shit. He's fine. 

He shouldn't have been hurt in the first place.

I look up and notice that I really did burn the maze down, ashes from it swirl through the air, and everybody is watching me. So I stand and I start marching towards the dais that the queen, Revan, and Sebastian watch from. I only take a few steps before I winnow to them.

I stand right in front of them with my hands on my hips. "You said it wasn't going to be to the death this time."

Sebastian starts with an almost apologetic tone, "It wasn't supposed to be - "

Androma cuts him off with a shrug. "Some deaths will occur of course, but you are not dead. Be thankful."

"Felix nearly died," I barely say this past my gritted teeth.

Androma narrows her eyes at me. "It's almost as if you care about the lowborn bastard."

"Unlike you, I do not find joy in the deaths of my people." I seethe and turn on my heel. "This little game is over."

I winnow back to Felix and winnow us both back to my bed. Aoife jumps out of surprise and looks us over. "Oh dear, Mr. Felix is covered in blood. Should I call a healer?"

"Most of it isn't his, but yes." I reply as I pull off the top of his leathers, rolling him onto his stomach and looking at the wound that is slowly closing. Inch by pesky inch. "I want to make sure this heals right."

Aoife nods and walks out of the room.

I sigh as I look down at my wounded best friend. "What am I going to do with you?" I shake my head and bite my lip. "They're trying to crush my spirits. And they tried to kill you to do it." Just like in that damned nightmare.

With that crushing realization comes an even more painful truth. "I have to let you go."


End file.
